We DIDN'T Write Anything

MORE Fun Things To Do During Exams or As Homework

2010-11-24T21:48:00.001+08:00

Type every word of your essay in a different font. Alternate really big fonts with really small fonts.
Support your thesis with quotes from your VCR manual. Do not wet the VCR as this compromises your safety.
Write the entire assignment on Post-it notes; hand it in by sticking them all over the professor''s door.
Write a paper discussing why Michelangelo got to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, but Van Gogh didn''t. Discuss whether Van Gogh would have used nunchakus or katanas.
Perfume the paper with catnip. Explain that it was to keep your dog from eating it.
If assigned a paper in philosophy class, explain that you can''t do the paper because you''re not sure if the class really exists, or if it and the professor are just illusions created by your subconscious. If you do end up writing the paper, write about whether or not the paper actually exists. When your teacher fails you, debate with him on the motion "Do As Exist". Ask him if he exists.
If assigned a 2000-word essay, draw two pictures of what the paper was supposed to be about. After all, a picture is worth 1000 words, right?
Cite issues of Spiderman and Batman as resources in your bibliography.
Hand in the essay by making paper airplanes out of the pages of the paper and attempting to fly them onto the professor''s desk.
The night before the paper is due, call the professor and explain that you can''t turn your paper in because it contains sensitive military information and is only available on a "need to know" basis. Insist that General Schwarzkopf says you should get an ''A''.
Write your history paper on parchment, using a quill. Say that you were trying to get the feel for the period.
Hand in a letter you wrote to your cousin. Or aunt. Or grandmother.
When writing an especially long paper, put a recipe for chocolate cake in the middle and see if the professor notices.
Tell the professor that you need an extension because one of your primary sources is an old wise man in Tibet and he won''t see you until the next full moon.
Paint a large white stripe down the front of your paper. Say that on the way to class, your dropped it in the street and it got run over by one of those trucks that paint lines on the road.
Make a footprint on the back of one of the pages. When questioned by the professor, act like it''s nothing unusual. After all, he did tell you to include footnotes.
Bring candles and incense to class. Before handing in the paper, perform an elaborate ceremony, entreating the gods to bless the paper and correct all your typos.
Make a tape of you singing the contents of your paper, opera-style, and hand that in.
Write your psychology essay on possible genetic anomalies that might cause a person to prefer anchovies.
TTyyppee eevveerryy lleetttteerr ttwwiiccee..
Get a large piece of paper or canvas. Smear paint all over it and hand it in as your paper. Explain that the topic was such an emotional one for you, and that mere words couldn''t possibly express what you had to say.
Refuse to do the paper on account of the fact that you are a member of Greenpeace and strongly object to the gratuitous slaughter of trees caused by the massive amount of paper used in writing assignments.
Put nonsense words down as quotes. Say that you are quoting the words of a well-known Zen master who was speaking in tongues at the time. "Socks end of the world men cats allergies."
Use a forklift to bring your paper to class, even if it''s only a few pages. Explain that it involved some very heavy reading.
Poke several holes in the paper. Say that you were mobbed by crows on the way to class.
Print all the pages on one sheet of paper, with the text overlapping. Say that that was all the paper you had.
Make your assignment one long, neverending sentence that goes on for pages and pages and pages; use alot of semi-colons, commas, and other interesting, rarely-used punctuation marks [(for example), an interesting one: the colon_] but never ever end the sentence {[_-\|/??!]}.
On the day the paper is due, skip into class, waving your essay and screaming, "I have a paper! I have a paper!". Run around the class a few times, then joyfully throw it out the window. Laugh and yell, "There''s my paper!", then run outside to get it. Repeat this all through the period, or until the prof throws you out.
Come to class leading a horse or camel. When asked to turn in the paper, take it out of one of the saddlebags, then shoot the horse/camel/whatever away. Refuse to discuss it.
Draw obscure connections between totally unrelated things. For example, claim that abnormal amounts of neutrino activity in Germany caused Hitler to invade France, or that the Roman empire collapsed because of a shortage of qualified botanists.
Refer to all prominant historical figures by nicknames. For example, call George Washington "Georgie". Call Ben Franklin "Sparky". Call Adolf Hitler "Asian Dude". Just for kicks :D
Pwetend you have a speech impediment and awways type w''s whenevew you weawwy want to type r''s ow l''s.
Ol, switch alound arr the l''s and r''s in youl papel, rike Monty Python did in Queen Erizabeth the Thild.
When your prof asks for an outline of your paper, draw the outline of the piece of paper you typed it on and hand it in.
Spill a martini on your sociology paper. Say that you wrote it in a bar so that you could see "sociology in action".

Random Quote of The Day

2010-11-07T15:17:00.000+08:00

A wise man once told me, if you get hated for being yourself maybe you should hate the haters back.

~LoudR

If You Don't Post This On FB, God Will Whoop Your Ass

2010-10-15T23:16:00.000+08:00

I wonder.

If anyone out there feels annoyed when you get chain mail that says:

"a whole bunch of touching stuff, blah blah blah, IF YOU DON'T PASS THIS ON, YOU WILL NOT GET INTO HEAVEN"

So you start wondering: since when does your getting into heaven depend on what you forward to your friends?

Who are you to say God won't be standing at heaven's gates staring at you and after reading your name, declaring:

"So you're the idiot who spams your friends' email by sending them messages supposedly in my name."

And then there's Facebook. There seems to be, for every religion out there, a chain status thingy that says if you believe in God, you have to post it up.

And I'm guessing somewhere out there there's one that says "If you don't post this up on Facebook you're not getting reincarnated."

I'm not saying I don't believe in God or am against the act of spreading the faith, but honestly, do you think spamming a friend's inbox will make them believe?

I don't know really.

I think it will touch them, perhaps. But then again, is it good social etiquette to pass on messages like these that could offend others?

What's your take on this issue?

Oh yes. I forgot.

And maybe for those who do not believe in the existence of higher powers you'll have this:

"If you don't post this on Facebook or forward this email, God will whoop your ass. If you're an atheist, you're gonna discover God very soon."

Evil smirk.

Note: This was not meant to be offending in any way.

My Take On Agony Aunt Letters

2010-09-12T22:32:00.000+08:00

I don't get Agony Aunt letters.

No, I don't mean that my mental capacities are that low, I meant that I don't get the people who wrote the letters to Agony Aunts. It just doesn't make any sense.

I mean, your problems can be solved with a little bit of common sense. Do you really need a complete stranger who probably doesn't give a shit about your life and who you are to state the obvious?

Or are you just enjoying seeing your problem in print?

Do you really sit down and calmly write a letter to the local Agony Aunt describing your problem in great detail yet not detailed enough for those close to you to identify you, then wait a month for Agony Aunt to reply your letter giving you advice before you decide on your next course of action?

I mean seriously, at this rate, even I can be an Agony Aunt.

Check this out.

(Letters taken at random from the internet and edited slightly)

Dear LoudR,

I have been friends with this guy for about two months, I’ve liked him a lot since I met him but I refused to say anything as he has a girlfriend. We’ve been flirting a lot and the other day he told me that he also likes me, I also told him that I liked him but he has a girlfriend so nothing can happen.

He asked me to kiss him which I’m almost ashamed to say that I did, then left. After he sent me a text saying that he was sorry if he made everything weird between us but he couldn’t hide how he felt and he didn’t want to jepordise our friendship but had to tell me. I replied that it hadn’t made anything weird and that we could still be friends. Since then we’ve spent a lot of time together revising for exams and talking getting to know each other better. I’ve made it clear where I stand with the fact he has a girlfriend.

He’s told me that things haven’t been going well with his girlfriend and that he’s just trying to find a way to break up with her without hurting her too badly and that he doesn’t want to mess me about.

I’ve asked my friends what I should do and they say to stay clear of him as he’s either using me as a replacement for his girlfriend who’s at a different university, or that I can’t trust him as he’s cheating on her and could do that to me in the future. I understand what they’re getting at but he has been nothing but honest with me since I met him and I trust him.

I feel really wrong and guilty about him having a girlfriend, but I don’t know what to do as I don’t want to push him away. How should I handle this?

In Love

Dear In Love,

It's obvious that this guy is a jerk. He has a girlfriend and yet he's trying to send you 'messages'. If he really did like you, he would break it off with the girl and court you like the way a man should.

And there's something wrong with you. I mean, kissing the guy when he already has a girlfriend? AND you only know him for two months? If he ever grows the balls to break up with his girlfriend and get together with you, you would be branded as a man-stealer for LIFE. So please, get a grip on yourself and move on, he is obviously just a waste of time.

Who's to say you won't be the next "girlfriend with whom things aren't working out"?

LoudR

Dear LoudR,

I have been in a relationship for over 2 years now but I don't feel the same as I did towards her anymore. Little things are annoying me and I'm just not happy. We are looking to move in together which I really dont want to do because I know it will be a nightmare. I'm not sure whether to ride it out or end it. I don't want to hurt her.

I used to have commitment issues and we have split over these before. We got back together because I really did love her but its less than a year since that and now I'm doubting whether I want a future with her. She will think its a commitment ‘thing’ again but it isn't.

Any advice would be great.

Confused

Dear Confused,

DUH. Break up with her. Who cares whether it's commitment issues or not? You can't live with her, and you've been with her for two years. Seriously man, save yourself the drama and just end it.

LoudR

Dear LoudR,

There's this boy I like but if I ask him out and he says 'no' I`ll be so so so embarrassed. How should I ask him out?

Afraid of Embarrassment

Dear Afraid,

Girl, gather your guts and just ask him! If you like him who gives a shit about embarrassment? If you don't try you'll never get your hands around your man!

LoudR

Dear LoudR,

I am 14 and I have a normal life but I am starting to get really unhappy because all my mates have boyfriends and I do not. No, I'm not the ugliest girl in school and many boys do like me, but I just have no fellings for them.

All my mates have had sex and I haven't! I realy want to but I want to find someone special to me that will make me happy. How can I get more boys to like me?

Help

Dear Help,

Getting more guys to like you will NOT help in getting you laid. That is because the boys your age most likely still have their squeaky voices and that is a big turn-off. And like you said, you want to find someone special, so wait. Be patient! Plus, you don't need a man to introduce you to the pleasures of sex. There are many other ways that you can explore on your own (I shall not elaborate as I intend to stay family-friendly on this blog)

LoudR

So there! Anyone planning to employ me as the next Agony Aunt for their newspaper? Leave a comment :D

Tips To Staying Sane (Students)

2010-09-11T21:04:00.000+08:00

1) Never do your homework after dinner.

2) Have dinner as early as possible.

3) A "project" is not homework. It is a piece of creatively organised torture. Homework is defined differently (See #4)

4) Homework is defined as "old-fashioned torture".

5) If listening to heavy metal makes termites chomp faster, does it make students do homework faster?

6) Swear at you teachers, it helps release stress XD

7) Always keep in mind that exams and homework destroys trees. Make "become an environment-crazy tree-hugger" your ambition and outlaw exams and homework!

8) Go online whenever possible and blog crazy stuff to stay sane.

Number eight is my favourite option :P

Never...

2010-06-17T23:02:00.003+08:00

Play basketball on an outdoor court at 3.00p.m. barefooted.
Swim in a cave.
Tackle people twice your size.
Tackle people with bones that are sharp.
Sleep for only 2 hours and expect to be awake.
Broadcast to people that you eat a lot in a camp where people eat very little.
Collide face-on with someone's elbow

Take my advice. Been there done that.

After The Exams...

2010-05-22T18:48:00.001+08:00

LoudR will force Lazybones, Black and Mel to post up SOMETHING and hopefully, just hopefully (with all fingers crossed) the blog won't be so dead.

Out.

RE: Black Again!

2010-03-19T22:09:00.002+08:00

I am always amused by Black.

In his ~~previous~~ first post, Black seemed to have no qualms about Adam Lambert's guy on guy kiss. And now, he has issues with today's music. Yet I specifically remember him encouraging me to get my hands on Adam Lambert's lesser known singles.

I do not understand this dude.

BTW, I like What Do You Want From Me XD

And Black, I recommend just listening to the radio and putting up with the songs. Soon you'll just get numb of it.

Ooh there's a nice one. Numb by Linkin Park XD

What about some lesser known songs? Go ask JM. Thanks to him I've been introduced to heavy metal (Slipknot; Children of Bodom), Christiany songs (Anberlin), and well, my favourite: LINKIN PARK!

Or old school rock: Aerosmith XD

Or just basically any weird songs you come across on the radio, or on the internet.

So don't be like Black, open yourself up to today's music!!! Woooh!

(I like being Black's Pakatan Rakyat XD)

Now, I shall AUTOMATICally stop talking that BLAH BLAH BLAH =)P

Lame. I know.

My take on music

2010-03-17T14:24:00.009+08:00

Turn on the radio, and most of the English songs you'll hear are standard American pop -- similar-sounding, yet insanely addictive. Take, for example, Lady Gaga and her noises. Or Britney with her creaking. There are, of course, exceptions, but not many.

And of course, unless you live under a coconut shell with Frogger, you'd have heard of Glee. Which costs 3 million USD minimum to make per episode. Don't Stop Believing by the Glee cast (Lea and Cory) has been playing on the radio. Btw, it's my second-favourite version of the song. My favourite version is by Sam Tsui on Youtube. Unfortunately, Glee just does covers of songs, not write their own tunes, so it can get a bit weary sometimes.

Basically, the problem with the radio is that there just isn't much variety. So people usually

(1) choose a band, say Muse or Paramore, and just listen to their other lesser-known songs.

(2) choose genres, say Instrumental or Heavy Metal, and listen to whatever song sounds good.

(3) go back in time, and tune in to the 60's, 70's, 80's and the 90's.

I have attempted, mildly, all of the above. And I am now a fan of U2, Phil Collins and Broadway music. But. It gets old.

So, I discovered, thanks to the Internet, the British music scene. Previously, I had heard of Duffy, Amy Winehouse and Leona Lewis, but just only through a couple of songs on the radio. Then I discovered Adele and Lily Allen. Adele actually won a Grammy for best new artist and another Grammy for her single Chasing Pavements. But I have to add, though, that Chasing Pavements is a very emo and unhappy song. Too unhappy for me.

Lily Allen, on the other hand, I love. Some of my friends know that, especially after I forced them to listen to her :P. Her songs are so quirky and cheerfully vulgar, like the wryly named F*ck You (apparently aimed at George Bush) and Alfie. Then there is the more famous and very happy Ldn. And, of course, the emo song Smile (which Glee covered, but the original has more attitude). Not forgetting the dreamy The Fear.

Wow. That's a lot of hyperlinks.

And... she's pretty, don't you think? :P

Random Short Story (Part Two)

2010-03-12T16:56:00.011+08:00

We Write Anything started out as a random tip-centre, and now, we truly do write ANYTHING. Well that is, until my colleagues come back from their leaves and we can coordinate and maybe resume our Zaman Kegemilangan where all we blogged about was Debate Tips. Til then, you have to bear with me and my crazy truckloads of crap and random short stories until they come back.

NOTE: This is a work of fiction.

***

Cursed thy family shalt be
The next woman to be born
Ten and six years she shalt be
Thy family shalt mourn

This is all my great-grandfather's fault. I don't know what he did, but he HAD to piss a half-siren half-witch off. Of all the women in the world, he had to incur the wrath of the most dangerous kind. And I bear the consequences of his actions. Life's unfair.

Well anyways, he did something majorly bad and managed to piss that half-siren half-witch not-at-all-human woman off and she put a curse on his family line. First girl born into the family from then on would become a siren from the age of sixteen.

"Well, at least you don't look that attractive or seductive anyway," mom used to say. I guess she meant it as a consolation. Hell lot of a supportive mother she is. But I agree with her. If I was blessed with the good looks my sister June has, the mortality rate of the men would be pretty high.

Just in case you didn't know, a siren is supposed to be some mythical creature - only it's not that mythical because I know it really does exist. A siren attracts and seduces men, and only one man at a time. Once a man falls for her, she kills him by accepting his love. There is no sea or magical song involved; that's the added spices.

At least, that's what I think. There're no seas, ponds, or lakes around where I live. And I certainly don't sing to my victims. Or victim.

Body count so far: 1.

(I just turned 16 then. It was a pure accident. I didn't even know I was cursed with this. And I truly liked him.)

You'd think joining a nunnery or locking yourself in a convent for life would be the best solution to my "condition". Hah. Life's not that simple. A siren needs to have at least one fresh male sacrifice once a year or she dies. Now that just complicates things doesn't it?

And guess what. My year is almost up.

It's not like I don't have anyone to kill, if I'm truly desperate I'll go dress up really glittery and really turn up the flirt factor on someone I really, really hate. Thing is I can only attract one person at a time, and I already did.

Like a cliched movie, my problem is that I love him back.

I have been avoiding him ever since I found out, but I know my time's almost up. If he doesn't give up, he literally is going to be the death of me.

***

"Why are you avoiding me?"
"I'm not."
"Then why won't you pick up my calls?"

I rolled my eyes. Where oh where do I start.

"Look. I won't give up. Not now, not ever. When I see something I want bad, I do everything in my power until I get it."

Thanks. I needed that.

***

I threw myself on my bed. It's all my great-grandfather's fault. For the thousandth time in my life ever since I found out about this curse I cursed him in my head.

Ever wondered why the siren cursed the next female and not my great-grandfather himself? My dad says it's because she wanted to hurt where it hurt most. She predicted that my great-grandfather would have a daughter and she wanted him to see her hurt when she couldn't love a man or he would die.

That's a lesson for you. Never count your chickens before they hatch. 'Cause my great-grandfather never did have a daughter. Or a granddaughter. And he didn't live long enough to see me.

I would call this "A Revenge Plot Gone Epicly Wrong" if I wasn't the one affected by it.

I went to my table and took out my stationery set. If I was going to die in one week I might as well leave something behind to remember me by.

***

Bob,

When you get this I would be gone.

I hope you don't hate me for this. I really do like you. And because I love you I can't love you.

I'm no good for you. You don't know the half of it. If I love you you'll die. It's a curse. You probably won't believe it but it's true. Curses do exist.

One of us has to go. And I rather it be me than you.

I'm sorry.

***

I heard the dim roar of the ocean. Like a dream, I stepped out of my bed, down the stairs and through the front door. A great expanse of water greets me. A beautiful song fills the air. I stepped into the water.

***

"Are you sure she took nothing?"
"Yes. We discovered her missing this morning. She's not the type to disappear in the middle of the night."

***

copyrighted by ResidentLoudmouth, year 2010 XD

On a separate note, JM says to post up my stupid cat rhyme.

The cat
Sat
On the mat
Chewing a hat
Brandishing a bat
Staring at the rat
Named Pat

What? It is We Write ANYTHING after all.

Lazybones The Confusing Confounder

2010-02-27T21:44:00.004+08:00

PS: I'm still not quite sure what "confounder" means but I'm too lazy to check the dictionary.

Lazybones, I'm still confused. I'm sure most of us here agree with me XD

Too. Many. Words. Getting. Woozy.

*crash bangs slams*

owwwwwww~

Got any more riddles? XD

......And You Lose!

2010-02-23T17:13:00.016+08:00

Hey there, people!! LazyBones is back in action!!! Hmm, I see I'm overusing exclamation marks.....anyway...

I've got great news for you. I'm going to reveal the answer to my puzzle (yes, the old one posted weeks ago). If you're not really into abstract thinking, be prepared to get really muddled in your thoughts..

The first step you must take is to put 3 balls on each side of the scale. You might be faced with 2 scenarios, as the scale can either be imbalanced or balanced. I will start with the imbalanced scale first. I'll number the steps to prove that it can be done in two weighs (2 steps; you can use the scale twice), and so you know what's going on.

Imbalancedor Scenario 1
This tells you one thing: both defective balls have to be on the same side, otherwise it would appear as a balanced scale (one on each side).

1. Your first step (as shown above) would be to put 3 balls on each side of the scale. If it turns out imbalanced, remove all 3 balls on the heavier side, because you can bet on your life that there are no defective balls there.
2. Move one ball to the empty side (you removed 3 balls from there in the first step), hold one in your hand, and leave one the scale untouched. [If you're following the illustration above, move the black (shaded) ball over the empty side, hold the peach ball and leave the unshaded one where it is.]
Balanced: Both balls are on the scale
Imbalanced: The one on the lighter end of the scale is defective. The other one is in your hand.

There! The first scenario completed!!

And things get really messy now........refer to the diagrams as often as possible to avoid getting confused.

Balanced
This type means that there is one defective ball on each side of the scale.

1. Remove one ball from each side.

There are two possibilities after step one: the scale can either stay balanced or become imbalanced. I'll tackle the balanced one first.

Scenario 2(a)

Balanced = Both defective balls have to be EITHER
a) One on each scale
b) Both removed, and are on the ground now

Step 2(a): Switch ONE ball from ONLY ONE side of the scale. [Illustration: Switch the blue ball on the scale with the blue ball on the ground.]

After switch
2. Imbalanced (the side you switched got LIGHTER): You replaced a normal ball for a defective one. BOTH DEFECTIVES WERE ON THE GROUND. Story ends here for this scenario.

2(a) Imbalanced (the side you switched got heavier): You switched the defective ball with a normal one. The pink one is normal.

2(a) Balanced : Defective ball is pink.

[How do I know?? Because both defectives have to either be on each scale OR both on the ground.
1. If both were on the ground, the scale would have become imbalanced right after swapping the blue balls, because that's what happens when you switch a heavier ball with a lighter one.
If the ball you swapped was defective itself, then BOTH defectives MUST have been on the scale (one on the other side) and the 2 balls on the ground MUST be normal. You would have caused the scale to become unbalanced, because that's what happens if you swap a lighter ball for a heavier one.] More on this in scenario 2(b).

Still in step 2(a): You now know the type/condition of at least ONE ball from ONE side. In every scenario (except the one where "the story ended"), remove ONE BALL FROM EACH SIDE to find the other side's defective. Please rely on your imagination and common sense for this one.
(Eg: Remove the defective and another ball from the other side. If the scale is balanced, you know that you're holding both defectives. If scale is unbalanced, you're not stupid enough to not be able to tell which side is heavier or lighter.)

Scenario 2(b) [right after step 1]

The scale became imbalanced because the type of balls you swapped were different from those on the ground. Whatever the case, the lighter side has one defective, the heavier side has 2 normals. Remember, both defectives CANNOT be on the lighter side or you would've got scenario 1.

Step 2(b): This step is NOT related to step 2(a), so no switching of balls is involved. Remove both on the heavier side and shift one over to the now empty side OR remove one ball from each side.

Ta-daaaahhh!!! Now I hope you were smart/not blur enough to digest all that. Happy moping.

Why God Created Eve

2010-02-20T17:15:00.002+08:00

These are the reasons Cassandra and I made up together. Feminists unite! XD

PS: I shall stop posting such nonsense when my "colleagues" get back from their "leave".
PSS: This only applies to SOME guys. Not all guys. Ok Black?

God created Eve because...
1) Guys will only stand there while girls run around and do the unpleasant work.

2) Guys will make things harder for the girls while they run around doing the unpleasant work.

3) Guys will pretend to not know you when you knock over a bunch of pool cues. Girls (and nice guys) will help you pick them up.

4) Most guys are jerks/have been jerks in their lives.

5) Most guys would have made a girl cry at least once in their life.

6) Girls will not refuse to speak to their cousin of the opposite gender for 5 years because of something their aunt said.

7) Tell a girl to do something and it's done instantly. Tell a guy to do something and he either
a) puts it off until you do it yourself
b) does it wrong so you have to do it yourself anyway
c) does it so late you already done it yourself

8) Guys think their superior over girls.

9) All guys need girls.

10) It was part of His plan.

No offence to all you nice guys out there who think you've been stereotyped just because of those few rotten eggs.

Now... What was that Malay proverb again?

Don't get mad at me, Black. You don't suck XD

Happy CNY!

2010-02-12T22:26:00.003+08:00

Okay people. We're gonna learn a NEW way to get your angpows. Forget the whole "gong xi fa cai hong bao na lai" thing, it's way too childish. We're gonna learn how to get your angpows, with style and dignity.

DISCLAIMER: THIS BLOGGER SHALL NOT BE HELD LIABLE FOR ANY LOSSES

You are going to dress in red. A dark red shirt and a pair of black pants. Leather shoes would be nice (I dunno why, but this is how I visioned it). You will wear a pair of shades. You have a day left to work on that confident swagger. Use that day wisely.

You will carry a big bag or wear a pair of pants with pockets. Lots of pockets. Somehow that gets the point across easier. You shall walk into the room as though the world belongs to you. Let your body language do the talking.

Option A: Hold up a BB Gun and demand that everyone in the room gives you at least one angpow or you'll shoot.
Option B: Offer to sing (and sing badly) and refuse to stop until you have RM 500 in your pockets.
Option C: Bring multiple disguises and use multiple identities to get multiple angpows.
Option D: Steal them away from your younger siblings.

I'm a bit lazy to post more options, so I'll leave the rest to your imaginations.

Goodnight and Happy Chinese New Year everybody!

PS: Lazybones! Post up riddle answer pleeeeeeeeaaaaaase!

Ignore Me

2010-01-31T19:46:00.005+08:00

I'm just going to be random and post this up just for the sake of un-deadify-ing this blog.

Yo.

Felatio.

Erm... You do know that felatio means oral sex right?

Oops. What does fellate mean then?

Go check the dictionary.

Fellate is not in my dictionary, but felatio is. Oh and I meant to say felicitations.

LOL. How did felicitations become felatio?

I don't know.

Proves how sick minded you are.

PS: Whatever you do, don't click on the link to "Sex Toys" in the CBOX. No matter how curious you are to find out which idiot put that up there. You have been warned. Curiousity really DOES kill cats.

Demands XD

2010-01-28T22:35:00.000+08:00

Lazybones. Give. Us. The. Answer. To. That. Riddle. Please.

And. save. this. Blog. From. Dead-dom.

That's not too much to ask, is it? XD

Thank you!!!

Yes I am dying to know the answer to that seemingly easy yet somewhat mind-boggling riddle.

Loud Thoughts

2010-01-17T18:36:00.002+08:00

Firstly I apologise on behalf of the crew for not updating this blog. We are BUSY, BUSY people/

Ok, since I'm still reeling from the aftershock of the amount of school work, I'm just gonna rant. You can shoot me if you're unhappy with this, Lazybones.

1) Why is it that although I eat a lot of hormone-injected chicken meat, yet I'm not growing any taller?

2) They say that the length of the space between your thumb and forefinger is the length of your penis. What does that mean for girls?

3) People like to ask: "How do you handcuff an armless man?". I prefer to ask: "What would an armless man do that could harm you so bad you have to handcuff him?"

4) Do you wake up to open your eyes or open your eyes to wake up?

5) If the plural for vortex is vertices, why isn't the plural for Kleenex Kleenices?

6) Why do they call a parliament-style debate Debate A la Parliament sometimes when the english language is sufficient enough?

7) Why is propaganda so easy to spread when it's all lies?

8) Why do people bother making new year's resolutions when resolutions are meant to be broken?

9) Why is it that the people you hate most will turn out to be the people you really look up to sometime in the future?

10) Why is it so acceptable for boys to do rough stuff but socially unacceptable for girls to do that?

Erm... I'm too tired to think anymore. Questions without answers don't really help right? XD

Top Ten Ways To Annoy Your Waiter

2010-01-07T16:20:00.003+08:00

10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip.

9. Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?"

8. After he describes each special, you shout, "Garbage!"

7. Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, "Minimum wage".

6. Every few seconds, yell, "More waffles, Cuomo!"

5. Insist that before ordering, you be allowed to touch the London broil.

4. Tie tablecloth around neck and say, "You wouldn't charge Superman for dinner, would you?"

3. Every time you eat or drink, cough really hard.

2. As he walks by to the kitchen, scream, "He's gonna spit in the chowder!"

1. Three words: eat the check.

Warm Up

2010-01-02T21:26:00.004+08:00

Hi, people. Here's something easy to warm you up before school starts.

Here goes....

You are given 6 balls and a weighing scale. 2 balls are defective and they weigh less than the other 4. You are only given 2 weighs (you can only use the scale twice). Find out which are the defective balls.

You have 2 defective balls and there is no typo. Yes, this is easy for most of you, but then again, maybe not.

Remember, there are 2 defective balls.

As for my fellow bloggers, I have tweaked the template again so that this time, when you click on your names under the post title, you can edit your post immediately.

Sorry ~ Buckcherry (Influenced By Crazy DJs)

2010-01-02T14:43:00.003+08:00

I was doing some stoning, and then Muttons At Midnight came to mind. Yes, JJ and Rudy (now Ean) and those Singaporean deejays are really influential XD

Why you should never dedicate Sorry by Buckcherry to someone you love
The words in bold are the lyrics, the words in italic are my "meanings" of the song.

Oh I have a lot to say was thinking of my time away
I feel like talking crap because I like to waste time
I missed you and things weren't the same
I MISSED you - now I don't and that's what's different
Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me want to die
You make me suicidal

[Chorus]
I'm sorry I'm bad I'm sorry you're blue
I'm sorry you're horny
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
I'm sorry I called you a b****
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go round
I love everything you do
And I just wanted to say
And for that
I'm sorry
I'm sorry

This time I think I'm to blame
Last time it's always your fault, now it's mine
It's harder to get through the days
Because I'm never at fault
You get older and blame turns to shame
You're OLD. VERY OLD
Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me want to die
You make me suicidal

[Chorus]
I'm sorry I'm bad I'm sorry you're blue
I'm sorry you're horny
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
I'm sorry I called your mother a b****
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go round
I love everything you do
And I just wanted to say
And for that
I'm sorry
I'm sorry

Yeah. I'm sorry I put you through all this random crap for nothing XD

50th Post Celebration!

2009-12-31T13:20:00.003+08:00

Wow. Time sure flies. It's now the end of the year. And the FIFTIETH POST of this blog.

Yesh yesh. Nothing to boast about really, since we started this blog way back then in May. But hey, let us all take a moment of silence to commemorate this milestone in the life of our blog.

*silence*

Ok, now that that's over with. You see, MIA Blogger Mel once predicted that this blog would be dead after PMR when we run out of PMR tips to post about. BUT, as you can see, IT'S NOT DEAD ~~yet~~.

Alright, enough about the blog crap. Now that the new year is almost over, normal people would make new year's resolution. But resolutions are meant to be broken, so I shan't make any XD

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY, AND HAVE A GREAT 2010!

PS: Black, I am holding your textbooks ransom. Bring a bag full of non-existent cash and meet me at the school hall on the first day of school. remember, bring nobody with you. The fate of your books lie in your hand.

Angels These Days

2009-12-29T12:35:00.010+08:00

Hello, LazyBones is back. This is a question my new-found friend asked me, to which I gave a stupid answer which made sense (or so I thought). Anyway, I'm not bothered by what you're going to think after reading this, as it's most probably going to be the same as the angels' reaction.

Daoliang: There are 2 identical doors with 2 identical angels. One door leads to heaven, the other to hell; one angel always tells the truth, the other always lies. You have to ask only one question to get to heaven. What is the question?

Me: If 0 is left, 1 is right, 2 is heaven and 3 is hell, what is the two-digit mathematical equation to go to the best place God ever created? [Explanation : the answer needs to include the direction and the destination. The liar will include number 3 in the equation because he is lying about the best place God created. Now you know who to believe, and you can go in the correct direction]

Daoliang: You know what the angels will do? They'll say "WTF!", open hell's door and throw you inside.

Since the dubbed "correct" answer cannot successfully pinpoint the angel that is lying, I'm still going to stick to my mathematical equation which can determine the liar and the correct doorway, whether the angels throw me in the wrong direction or not. Then, I'm going to report those bloody "angels" who swear. Tsk tsk. They need to get creative even when they're annoyed.

;P

A frog or a horse?

2009-12-28T22:29:00.003+08:00

It's the same picture, just rotated.

What Santa Wants for Christmas

2009-12-25T17:57:00.002+08:00

1) Diplomatic immunity.

2) Visa for all countries.

3) A red and white christmas suit kinda like the one he's wearing now, except in a lighter material for hot tropical countries.

4) A license for a reindeer sleigh - recognised in all countries.

5) Diet health food. Santa finds it hard to fit into his sleigh because of his huge tummy.

6) A present factory. Then he can fire all those annoying elves and work solo.

7) An email address that automatically replies every email he gets.

8) A new secret warehouse location. Now that everyone knows about the North Pole, it ain't so secret no more.

9) A shave. Beards are so last season XD

10) A law that says every house in the world must have a chimney.

11) Another law that forbids all households from lighting the fire on christmas eve.

12) A chiaropracter. Lugging presents around is no easy job for an old man.

13) A jet-powered sleigh. FIRE THE REINDEERS!

14) Books, titled: "How To Say 'I Am Santa' In All The Languages In The World".

15) Weather checking thingy. To check the weather around the world.

16) Handbook. "Packing Light Made Easy."

17) Panadol.

18) A fashion sense.

19) A cure for the fear of heights.

20) MERRY CHRISTMAS PEOPLE!

Toilet Paper

2009-12-24T17:10:00.007+08:00

I shall now defend myself on my weird habit of betting with rolls and rolls of toilet paper, which started when a friend introduced me to such an unusal betting chip.

WHY IT IS MOST ADVISABLE TO BET WITH TOILET PAPER INSTEAD OF CASH
1) You'll never go bankrupt.

2) You'll never experience the heartache of the money you love sifting through your fingers like grains of sand.

3) It's not illegal. People get suspicious when you hand someone else money after an event, but who says you can't give toilet paper to others as a gift?

4) It's useful. You never know when you'll need to go, and money can NEVER replace toilet paper on such occasions.

5) It's good for pranks. You can toilet paper a person's car/house/school bag, but you NEVER "cash" someone's personal belongings.

6) You'll always have one no matter how poor you are. Even if you're cashless, you always gotta have toilet paper with you, dontcha? And if you can't even afford toilet paper, don't bother betting.

7) It's ~~weird~~ unique.

8) It's ~~weird~~ funny.

9) It's ~~weird~~ an eye opener.

10) It's entertaining. It's not funny to see someone lug around a huge bag of cash, but toilet paper just makes the hardest of hearts melt.

On that note, I want my one pack of toilet paper on the very first day of school, Lazybones XD

Explanation

2009-12-19T13:14:00.000+08:00

Yes, the bloggers at We Write Anything DIDN'T write anything again. Just like the header suggests. You wanna know why? Well, I'll tell you why even if you don't wanna know.

Well...
Mel the MIA Blogger is MIA-ing as usual.
Black the new kid on the block has only posted ONCE.
Lazybones is on holiday like what she said in her latest post (well, the first paragraph. everything after that didn't make sense).
And yours truly ResidentLoudmouth is being quiet for once.

And yeah, we have writer's block as well.

So here's the explanation I owe you people. Now we owe you nothing XD

I'm silent for once, ain't you glad? XD

$ Money-Minded $

2009-12-14T17:55:00.000+08:00

I don't think I can find a way to match Lazybones utterly nonsensical yet hilariously entertaining post, so I'm not going to. Instead, I'm going to write in the biggest most colourful vocabulary I know and can spell in an attempt to confuse all you readers out there.

Okay, maybe not. But I AM going to post about one of my favourite things of all time. MONEY. And the people who collect them. TREASURERS. (cue sound effects $ KACHING! $)

CHECKLISTS
Early signs that you are treasurer material
1) You love money.
2) "I love money" is your life motto.
3) The person who invented money is your idol.
4) You want to murder Bill Gates for his money.
5) You love counting money.
6) You love the smell of money.
7) You love the sound of money.
8) You love the feel of money.
9) Swimming in cash has always been your lifelong dream.
10) You are trustworthy and have enough morales to know the difference between right and wrong.
Note: Number 10 is a MUST or you would just end up being another nutcase who is thoroughly obssessed with money.

Job descriptions for a treasurer
1) Full-time money-counter.
2) Full-time money-collecter.
3) Full-time money-keeper.
4) Full-time teacher's banker.
5) Part-time money-lender.
6) Part-time money-exchanger.
7) Part-time ATM.
8) Part-time "lunch buyer" (as in you buy stuff for people).
9) Part-time insurance agent (you have to replace the lost money)
10) Full-time loanshark.
Note: Number 10 is a MUST or dealing with difficult students would be, well, difficult.

Signs that shout "QUIT YOUR STRESSFUL TREASURER JOB"
1) You carry all your money in coins.
2) You pay the teachers in coins.
3) You forget that coins are round.
4) You fold all your bills into small little hearts.
5) You reject money under certain circumstances (one SHOULD NEVER reject money)
6) You feel sick at the sight of money.
7) You never ever wanna count another dollar bill in your life.
8) You change all your cash into 50 cent coins.
9) You play and talk to those 50 cent coins.
10) You label all your coins by gluing strips of paper onto them.
Note: The above is exactly the reason why ResidentLoudmouth refuses to be a treasurer ever again despite her love of money XD

Mystery Of The Universe

2009-12-13T16:05:00.001+08:00

I'm in Singapore and this blog has not been updated for 4 days. Bravo, my friends! Bravo! Since my cousins are with me at this particular moment, I can afford to present to you a new kind of entertainment *drum rolls* I call this the One-Sentence Game!!!! (Yes, you've heard of this before). 2 people would be adding nonsense into this game.

Hypothesis : Everything that doesn't'make sense is written by my younger cousin =D

One day, a man slipped on a banana skin. Then he bruised his leg. He went screaming to the hospital walking on his hands. Then he slipped on another banana skin and bruised his other leg. He miraculously thought of sitting on the banana skin to slide to the hospital. He accidentally fell down again. A desperate shopwoman forced him to eat oysters on the way to the hospital. Aliens came down and zapped him in the underwear. Apparently, this shopwoman was in allegiance with the one and only JEDOS, Jupiter-ian Emperor DOg Scum. Then, the man summoned to aliens to zap the evil shopwoman to ash. Suddenly, he saw a lion. I forgot to mention to you that the man's name was Mr Low Ai Kiu (low IQ). The lion wanted to eat him up. So the man decided to bribe the lion by taking off his shirt. The lion opened its mouth wide to swallow the man when it suddenly knocked down a huge nest of angry hornets that flew straight into its mouth, knocking it out. Mr Low Ai Kiu, as his name suggests, pointed to the sky and screamed, "It's a plane!!!" when "the plane" was obviously a giant comet heading in the direction of Jasitufgweruifd, our planet. Suddenly, the lion reincarnated and opened its mouth, letting out the angry hornets that flew at the man and chased him threateningly.

The comet mentioned earlier crashed down and released an army of Looney Tunes characters, clearly under the command of the mentally-challenged JEDOS, who is not taking any action. Without warning, the comet hit Jasitufgweruifd, not only releasing the Looney Tunes characters, but also accidentally crushing the bees and causing destruction to the entire universe. Mr Low screamed "It's the end of the world!!!!" and got blown away by the comet. Mr Low is finally dead and JEDOS commands everyone to laugh, including you. Someone must kill JEDOS, right? Yes, and apparently, only our part of the universe is still in tact, prompting me to summon the exiled Plutonites to kill JEDOS as revenge (JEDOS tortures Plutonites). A Plutonite has found that JEDOS has a secret weapon called an AllSpark, which has the power to destroy the world. Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck quickly deviced a plan to steal the AllSpark and finish JEDOS once and for all.

So, BB and DD went to Jupiter and found that JEDOS flew back before them and was having a nap, giving them opportunity to steal the AllSpark. The AllSpark was nicely placed in a glass box in the middle of his room, with laser and booby traps strategically placed. BB and DD managed to get through all the traps to the retrieve the AllSpark, when all the traps disappeared. JEDOS's bodyguard suddenly appeared out of thin air and woke JEDOS up. JEDOS chanted a magic mantra to open up the floor to trap BB and DD. BB and DD clinged on to dear life when DD quickly shot JEDOS through the heart with AllSpark.

That's why we all view Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck as our heroes. Note that I am BB and my cousin is DD. Now, tremble before us, your saviours. When I come back from S'pore, I expect a full-blown ceremony to honour my great deeds. And when you come to S'pore, you must visit my cousin and bow to him.

Epilogue:
JEDOS is now dead, and we are rejoicing. JEDOS's bodyguards fell through the floor during the epic battle and are now dead as well. Mr Low Ai Kiu has been revived by the Tasmanian Devil and has been sent to the hospital to check and remove his brain. Apparently, the doctors were worried about the emptiness in his head and so replaced his brain with otak-otak (otak means brain, but otak-otak means food). Mr Low's surname has been changed to High, courtesy of the doctors in the hospital, and is now known as High Ai Kiu (although we know that this is not true).

Conclusion:
The nonsensical sentences were not written by my cousin. They were written by yours truly. Our hypothesis is not accepted. Experiment fail!

PS: The universe has been saved!

PPS: No JEDOSs were harmed in the making of this story, but you still need to honour BB's and DD's deeds, because we saved the universe.

-LazyBones and NichXian-

You Know It's Bad When...

2009-12-09T16:24:00.000+08:00

This is a somewhat "personal post" (it's drawn from my experiences). And I hope that the reader who requested for personal posts is now satisfied. well this is a post designed to show you what happens when Murphy's Law happens in your life. XD

Scenario:
You're sitting at home lazing about on a perfect day when your dad rushes out after informing you that the place you think of as a second home was on fire.

This is Murphy's Law at it's very best:
1) You desperately want to go along but your dad sped off before you could open your mouth and you ended up walking there.
2) You discover that four of your friends were inside the building when the fire began.
3) The one who first noticed the fire was a notorious prankster.
4) The (very few) men who could carry the fire extinguishers couldn't make it into the rooms because it was too dark. And it was too dangerous to enter when they finally got a torchlight.
5) Majority of the people didn't want to enter the building/couldn't operate a fire extinguisher.
6) The one person who REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to enter the building was a scrawny, five-foot-two teenaged girl. Who DEFINITELY is not strong enough to carry a fire extinguisher with one hand while working the nozzle with the other.
7) The fire brigade was called THREE times.
8) The fire engine got lost on it's way there.
9) It took the fire engine TWENTY MINUTES to get to the building and another TWO MINUTES to find the fire hydrant.
10) The fire brigade only had TWO oxygen tanks.
11) The firemen had no torchlight.

And this is when Murphy's Law stops:
1) The damage was only contained to two rooms. No other area was affected.
2) We have insurance XD

ResidentLoudmouth is (trying to be) an eternal optimist, but still feels that life could be simpler XD

Obfuscated Fumblerules

2009-12-07T17:40:00.000+08:00

Confusing hypocritical guides (obfuscated fumblerules) on how to write a good essay.

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.

2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

3. Employ the vernacular.

4. Avoid ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

5. One should never generalize.

6. Remember to never split an infinitive.

7. Contractions aren't necessary.

8. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

9. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

12. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

13. Be more or less specific.

14. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

15. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

16. The passive voice is to be avoided.

17. Who needs rhetorical questions?

18. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than an understatement.

19. Don't use no double negatives.

20. capitalize every sentence and remember to always end it with point

21. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.

22. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.

23. A writer must not shift your point of view.

24. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)

25. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!!!!

26. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

27. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

28. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

29. Always pick on the correct idiom.

30. Eschew obfuscation, espouse elucidation.

Lazybones is hearing echoes between her ears. Being braindead isn't fun.

English : World Lingua Franca?

2009-12-05T12:34:00.000+08:00

Warning : Super long post ahead! Read only if you have the time to spare.

Being British is about driving in a Korean car to an Irish pub where we drink a Dutch beer. On the way home we pick up an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab. Then we sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

Most of all we're very suspicious of anything foreign.

More than that, only in Britain can you get a pizza quicker than an ambulance; only in Britain do banks leave both doors open, but chain the pens to the counter; only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk to the back of the store to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can get their fags at the front.

We might be British, but you can't deny that we're funny.

Certainly not true a lot of ballyhoo?

-

Only the English could have invented this language.

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Then shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England ..
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

People recite at a play but play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?

I would like to add that if people from Poland are called Poles then people from Holland should be called Holes and the Germans should be called Germs!!

-

Wonderful English from Around the World

In a Bangkok Temple,
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Cocktail lounge, Norway :
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctor ' s office, Rome :
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok :
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi :
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES .

Tokyo hotel ' s rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel, Yugoslavia :
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Japan :
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest :
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand :
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A laundry in Rome :
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON

If you made it here after reading all of the above, kudos to you!
Hope you enjoyed it :D

Movie Mania

2009-12-03T15:33:00.001+08:00

A few reasons to Why You Should Sit Next To A Complete Stranger The Next Time You're At The Cinemas that will (hopefully) have you nodding your heads in agreement and rethinking your seating arrangements at the next movie.

1) It is a new experience.
It is wonderful how people can just click together if they have a common interest. Sitting next to a complete stranger in a cinema opens a whole new opportunity to make a new friend. Conversation openers can vary from the weather to the movie you're both watching.
This only works if the person next to you is
a) very lonely
b) very talkative
c) very bored with the movie

2) You don't have your friends asking you on your opinion of the movie every five seconds.
Say you're the complete opposite of a chatterbox. you STILL can choose to sit next to a completely random stranger simply because you'd like to watch the movie in peace. You can be almost certain that you won't be getting any spoilers from your friends during the movie. And there would be no one to ask you if you think Taylor Lautner or Megan Fox is hot every five seconds. And no one - I repeat, NO ONE - would be stealing your popcorn.
This only works if the person next to you is
a) a loner
b) very boring
c) absolutely mute

3) You can do things your friends would never let you do.
There are many things one would like to do in a cinema. But of course, we can't always get what we want, and there's always the fear that your friends and family would disown you for embarassing them. And they'd never ever want to be seen with you in public again. Sitting next to completely random strangers gives you the freedom to do whatever you want, including
a) filming the movie secretly
b) getting drunk in the theater

4) You can play tricks on that completely random unsuspecting stranger.
Usually, one plays tricks on someone they know. Sitting next to a stranger guarantees you that you will not be their firsl suspect EVER. No guarantees about being the second suspect though.
You can do things like
a) annoy the person sitting in front of you (maybe the stranger would even help you)
b) make your phone ring every five minutes and everytime it rings, accuse the stranger next to you (loudly) of being an insensitive jerk.
c) lean over to the stranger, sneak your hand behind his back and tap his shoulder (on the side further away from you)

5) You can eavesdrop on their conversations with their friends
After eavesdropping on their conversation, you can blog about it without fear that you would be discovered. Where else can you hear and blog about things like
a) "NO!!!! BUMBLEBEE!!! DON'T OPEN THAT BOX!"
b) "RUN FASTER BELLA!!!"
c) "OHMYGOSH BELLA'S BOOBS ARE DAMN BIG!"

As observed by ResidentLoudmouth XD

No Pictures, Please

2009-12-02T15:53:00.000+08:00

Please be warned that the following paragraphs are harmful to your health. You may experience terrible fits of laughter especially after the words. Parental supervision is recommended in case you die of laughter.

A lot of us put photos of ourselves on the Internet. We all think that everyone out there would respect our privacy and not do anything with our pictures. Many of us have this perception that if our pictures are not nude, it's still alright to show your face to the world. But really, when the media says that your pictures on the Net are not safe, they mean it. And you don't want to know how bad it gets.

Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why you should never put your pictures on the internet.

Brace yourself from hysterical laughter.

It starts with something innocent like this... (you can click on the images to enlarge them, you know?)

Then, it advances......

Unfortunately for you, the last image was supposed to be animated. But there's something wrong with the picture after uploading it. Tell you what...just imagine that poor boy (in a woman's body) move seducingly in an "S" shape. Remember to mentally play Adam Lambert's "For Your Entertainment" in your head while you're at that. Delicious, isn't it?

Clearing Up

2009-11-29T19:05:00.003+08:00

I see that there's some controversy over me figuring out the meaning of the video 3 days later. Please note that I understood the video right after JM and LoudR explained it to me. Ignore the part about that in the debate below. THREE days is just plain exaggeration. =)P

Thank you.

RE: Black's "Seriously For A Change"

2009-11-29T17:17:00.000+08:00

WARNING: THIS BLOG MAY CONTENT TRACE AMOUNTS OF ADULT CONTENT AND MAY OFFEND SOME READERS. READERS' DISCRETION ADVISED.

Firstly, Black, I would like to say : WELCOME TO THE BLOGGING WORLD OF WE DIDN'T WRITE ANYTHING!!!!!!! *ahem* Now that that's done, I'd like to remind you to label all your posts with your name (which is Black in this case).

Secondly, I do not agree completely with what you've posted in response to MY experiment post so this is my way of having a debate with you.

About The Performance
I was actually quite glad to see that Black agreed that the performance was rather explicit, well, 'cause if he didn't I'd be very very worried. But I do not agree that this whole huge controversy is over homosexuality.

Black, I don't know if you've actually watched the video, but the whole performance wasn't just about Adam Lambert smooching a male keyboardist. Well, in the first place, he was french-kissing the male keyboardist, AND the whole thing wasn't planned, AND the keyboardist is straight. So I don't find it accurate that you compare the Adam-Male Keyboardist kiss to the Madonna-Britney kiss. Which I don't think counts as lesbianism (more on this below)

The complaints about Adam Lambert's performance wasn't just about the french-kissing, it was also about the many random, obscene, disgusting things he done at the spur of the moment (yes, most of the disgusting stuff wasn't rehearsed, so imagine the dancers' shock). I will not elaborate on the details of his unrehearsed performance, but let's just say it went waaaaay further than kissing someone of the same sex.

I'm not homophobic, and I have no issues with guys holding hands, hugging or even kissing (not too sure on that one yet though, my opinion may change sometime in the future). But I do have issues with people performing/stimulating obscene sex acts in public (on TV). To me, this is not a homosexual controversy, 'cause frankly, I would have issues with the performance even if Adam Lambert was straight. Or it was performed by a girl. yes, even if it was by Lady GaGa.

So yeah. I think the world would NEVER be ready to see people perform "stuff" that should be done privately, in the comfort of their own bedrooms on National TV.

About The Song And It's Lyrics
The song For Your Entertainment indeed is extremely catchy (take it from someone who has it playing on endless replay in her brain). However, I do think that it's rather vulgar (or perhaps we made the mistake of reading the lyrics AFTER we watched the performance, it could have affected our conclusions).

However, I do not agree that it's "better" (better in what sense?) than the other current songs. I mean, sure Lady GaGa, Britney Spears, Madonna and even Shakira has some pretty "suggestive" songs, but at least their metaphor-ed, right? Anyone with half a sick mind would be able to guss that For your Entertainment was about rough sex.

I think that For Your Entertainment is vulgar-er than Britney Spears' If You Seek Amy, ALL of the Lady GaGa songs, and 3OH!3 songs. Maybe just as vulgar/suggesting as Shakira's She Wolf, but not as bad as Pitbull's Hotel Room Service and I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho). Therefore you can't say that it pales in comparision. As for if the lyrics would pollute a young child's mind, you decide that for yourself, because if you've read the "edit" at the end of the post on experiments, you'd notice that Lazybones DID understand what she saw in the video and what she read in the lyrics. THREE DAYS LATER.

Footnote: The claim that innocent children cannot understand the song at all cannot be tested because I do not want to use my 10 year old sister as a guinea pig.

Rebutted by, ResidentLoudmouth

Tongue-Sharpening

2009-11-29T14:47:00.000+08:00

Hey, peepz, LazyBones in the house. Recently, there was a request from one of our curious readers to write about something we (boring authors) do on a daily basis. Well, just like you, I eat, sleep and breathe. Very honest answer, but you're not interested in that, are you? (Neither am I). Don't worry, I won't be writing anything that eeriely sounds like your biography. Instead, I'll be focusing on one of my disgusting hobbies, which involves the tongue.

Look at the post title once more. If you're exceptionally blur, you would probably picture a nutcase stuffing her tongue into a sharpener (I pity you people). For those with a more scientific approach, you'd probably think that I prefer eating tough food to train my tongue, thus making it sharper. While those sound like ~~stupid~~ amusingly interesting activities to do, I have to admit that I'm actually a very boring person. You see, all I do is let my tongue clash directly with others' (NOT french kissing). Just as warriors fight with their swords, I go for battles with my tongue. (Trust me, I'm not strong enough to fight against someone brandishing a sword). But the tongue does have its advantages.

Like the warrior, I can be capable of inflicting serious damage upon my opponents, with nothing but the edges of a swift tongue. More advantageous than the bow and arrow, the tongue can shoot words and strike the hearts and minds of it's target without ever missing a shot. With the grace and intelligence of the magician, the colourful words casted by the tongue are able to manipulate any situation. To conceal meanings and create disillusions would be just as easy as the thief's deception and evasiveness. With the words of the tongue, you can build a fort to block yourself from the dangers of the outside world, launch rockets into the sky or mastermind a massacre.

Now that you're familiar with the background of the tongue, you can finally motivate yourself to carry out intensive sessions of tongue-sharpening like me =D. And how do you do this? Well, I lash out at unsuspecting victims (I expect no less from you)...Let's face it, the more sharp-tongues there are around, the merrier. So now, I will introduce a list of insults you may use to replace your maledictions. No more expected "F you!"s from our readers. It's time we get a little creative.

Sticks and stones break my bones,
But words will never hurt me.
[Keep this in mind, you’ll need it]

(Warning : thinking required) (I'm saying you're not smart enough to read the following)
1. I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you’ve never used it before.

2. You must have a very low opinion of other people if you think that they’re your equals.

3. If we were to kill everyone who hates you, it wouldn’t be murder. It would be genocide!

4. Even your best friend lies to you and cheats on you. And that’s the best friend you’ve got.

5. You’re a prime candidate for natural deselection.

6. I think you have a room temperature IQ.

7. Aliens zapped that dude with a stupidity ray—twice.

8. I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. Don’t worry, I told him not to act like a fool anymore.

9. People say you are the quintessential idiot. I don’t think you’re perfect, but you’re definitely on the right track!

10. We always know when you’re lying. Your lips move.

11. Your voice is like the waves of the sea. It makes me sick!

12. They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent and cultured.

13. There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious, and you are all of them.

14. Max : I’m bored.
You : Keep talking, I’m getting there.

15. Tina : I think this dress looks great on me...
You : It’s okay. You don’t have to be so sarcastic to yourself.

I'm sorry, I wanted to add more (I have a longer list up to 50+), but I'm trying to get this on the school magazine. *Grins* It's so easy to make you upset. =D

Before you throw eggs at me for the incomplete list, *sticks out tongue and wags it*, I would like to wish everyone good luck at sharpening their tongues. If you're still blur on what I do up 'til now, please make sure your brain isn't in power-saving mode (I'm calling you stupid). Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to make a monkey out of you. I can't take all the credit for myself (another insult, proving that I'm not the only one making a monkey out of you and calling you stupid).

SeRiouSLY FoR a CHaNGe

2009-11-28T21:15:00.000+08:00

After reading the previous post (the one ~~dissing~~ discussing Adam Lambert's public performance of For Your Entertainment), I just had to say something.

I agree that it was, well, a little too explicit to be shown on TV. After all, we don't want our children growing up smooching same-sex keyboardists, do we?

But, I've been reading up on this matter (since I AM writing a post about it), and I find it wickedly funny that lesbianism on TV is not censored. Take, say, Madonna's famous kiss with Britney Spears. I mean, it's not even hot: anything involving muscle-bound Madonna is plain scary, as this article so hilariously describes.

Oh, and about the song, I actually thought it quite catchy. The title, For Your Entertainment, reminded me a bit of Robbie Williams' Let Me Entertain You, which isn't very sexually charged (until I checked the lyrics, but that's besides the point XD). At least it's better than Britney Spears' "Amy" song, right?

The lyrics of For Your Entertainment also didn't seem particularly vulgar. Take other current artistes' song lyrics and compare; FYE may even pale in comparison. And besides, if the authorities believe that the lyrics would pollute children's minds, Lazybones' experiment proves it otherwise. Innocent children would not understand a single word.

Basically, this huge controversy is over homosexuality. It proves that the world is not yet ready to watch two males (or more, god forbid) snog publicly. Or perform other obcene moves, for that matter.

P.S. If you
[A] are a hardcore Madonna fan and would like to send me hate mail, please understand that I DIDN'T write anything.
[B] are Madonna and visited this site and read this post, may I have your autograph please? :DDD

IScribbleSparingly is not happy with admin rules.

Scientific Experiments About Adam Lambert

2009-11-28T13:36:00.000+08:00

Experiment One
Aim: To investigate if the newspapers were right when they said that Adam Lambert's performance on AMA was over-the-top.
Hypothesis: Adam Lambert's performance was over-the-top.
Procedure:
1) The idea of watching the video on Youtube was suggested by ResidentLoudmouth to Lazybones.
2) The video was viewed by both researchers and a discussion took place.
3) The observations were recorded.
Observations:
1) *the video contains adult content and shall not be discussed in detail here*
2) ResidentLoudmouth gave up watching after the second minute bcause she was grossed out.
3) Lazybones finished watching the video but didn't understand much of it.
4) "Guest researcher" JM gave some remarks that suggested that he found it gross as well. (his remark was 'EW')
Conclusion: The hypothesis was accepted. Adam Lambert's performance on AMA was over-the-top.

Experiment Two
Aim: To determine if the lyrics for the song For Your Entertainment were sexually charged as the newspapers put it.
Hypothesis: The lyrics were sexually charged.
Procedure:
1) ResidentLoudmouth and Lazybones got another "guest researcher" CK to read the lyrics with them.
2) The reactions of all researchers were observed and recorded.
Observations:
1) Lazybones: "Oh goodness!"
2) ResidentLoudmouth: "I DON'T WANNA WATCH ADAM LAMBERT EVER AGAIN!"
3) "Guest researcher" CK: "HOW THE HELL COULD HE SING THAT IN PUBLIC?!"
Conclusion: The hypothesis was accepted. The lyrics for the song For Your Entertainment were sexually charged.

Experiment Three
Aim: To attempt to make Lazybones understand everything she read and heard about the performance and the song.
Hypothesis: Lazybones is too innocent to fully understand everything even if it was explained to her.
Procedure:
1) ResidentLoudmouth and the two "guest researchers" JM and CK explain everything to Lazybones in detail.
2) Her reactions were observed and recorded.
Observations:
1) JM, CK and ResidentLoudmouth gave graphic explanations that shall not be reapeated here.
2) Lazybones dis not appeared to be extremely disturbed and the researches have reason to believe that this was because she was too innocent to understand.
Conclusion: The hypothesis was accepted. Lazybones is too innocent to fully understand everything and anything sick even if it was explained to her.

Edit by ResidentLoudmouth on 28/11/2009:
Experiment Three was an EPIC FAIL as Lazybones FINALLY managed to understand the whole video. THREE DAYS LATER. XD

Scientific reports by, ResidentLoudmouth XD

Random Short Story

2009-11-24T18:11:00.001+08:00

This is just a random short story. Please leave in the CBOX on whether you prefer to see more short stories or random crap from me in the future.

***

It was a morning as normal as any other. He was just about to leave for work when he heard it. The public announcement on the radio.

"... a nuclear missle is making it's way to Green Town due to an experiment gone wrong and is expected to hit in 13 minutes. All residents are expected to evacuate or to head for the nearest nuclear bunker. I repeat ..."

He had expected it; after all, he was living in an area that was only an hour's drive away from a nuclear testing ground. "Son! Go and get your siblings. We have to go to our bunker now. Hurry!" He shouted. He can't afford to panic now. Not now. Not at this moment.

His eldest son seemed to have understood that this was not any normal evacuation drill. He grabbed his siblings and together they packed as much foodstuff and drinking water as they could. Sure, they had food in the bunker, but it doesn't hurt to have more. Who knows how long they'd have to stay there?

He found his wife in the bedroom, packing her bible and the important documents they all would need if they survived this. He rushed to the safe and took out everything of value from it. They would need it when the world they now live in turns chaotic due to the missle. What with the droughts and the food shortage and all, money is what they would need most. apart from their lives.

His wife gave an unhappy sob and muttered: "The neighbours..." "Honey, what's wrong?" he asked, knowing perfectly well the thought that is troubling his dear wife. "The neighbours, they have no bunker, they will want to be let into ours. And... It hurts me to turn them down." "Sweetheart," he started, but paused as he searched for the right words to say, "they ridiculed us when we built a bunker. It's like Noah's Ark now. Noah didn't worry much for his neighbours, did he?" His wife shook her head slowly. "Come on now, we must enter the bunker."

They left the house and went to the entrance of their bunker. Just like his wife had predicted, their neighbous were shoving and shouting and begging to be let in. "Please, take my daughter, my only daughter, she is young..." "Please, take my son, he eats very little, you would barely notice that he's there..." "Please..." "Please..." The pleas from their neighbours brought tears to her eyes again, but he hardened his heart and pulled his wife into the bunker. The door slammed shut.

Even from inside the bunker, the muffled pleas of the people out there could be heard. When he turned his back on his wife for that split second, she threw open the door and ran out, leaving a young girl in her place. The man cursed under his breath. He glared at the young girl as though it was her fault that his wife left. He paced the room furiously, until he finally came to a decision. a decision he would never regret and never could regret.

He turned to his eldest son. "Son, you know exactly what to do, don't you? Consume the food and the water sparingly. And don't open the door ever again. Your duty now, is to keep yourself and your siblings alive." His son nodded, with tears in his eyes. He never once doubted his father. All the little ones hugged his father for that one last time. The man removed the wooden cross he wore on a chain around his neck and passed it to his son. he was passing on the torch. He said a silent prayer, and unlocked the door and walked out.

Almost immediately he was swarmed by the tearful parents, pleading and begging with him to take their child, their precious child. He grabbed the two children closest to the door and shoved them in. "Remember, don't open this door for at least a month!" he shouted his last advice to his son as his son dutifully shut the door. It was final. the crowd backed away, knowing that their pleas and begs would fall on deaf ears now. He walked through the crowd, with only one purpose.

He spotted her in the midst of the crowd, looking oddly serene and at peace. the crowd, knowing that their time was up, were bidding their final goodbyes to their loved ones. He waded through the crowd and positioned himself right in front of her. His beloved wife looked at him and whispered: "I'm sorry." "I love you." he whispered back, the first time in sixteen years since their marriage had he proclaimed his love for her. He held her hands, and together they said their final prayers, and recited their favourite bible verse. The look on her face was a peaceful one, and his mirrored hers. "I love you." he whispered that last time. "I love you too." she whispered back.

The missle hit.

***

copyrighted by ResidentLoudmouth XD

AHEM.

2009-11-24T09:25:00.000+08:00

The MIA blogger is back!

But what should I blog about? I have no idea! Here's a peace offering though.

Chocolate chip cookies anyone?

Excuses, Excuses

2009-11-22T17:32:00.000+08:00

Some pretty cool and creative excuses to why you didn't do your homework. Of course, some practical "tried-and'tested by yours truly" excuses would be listed down as well.

Funny Excuses
1) The dog ate my homework (this is classic!)
2) I sold my homework for RM100 to pay for my mother's kidney's operation (yes, someone in my class actually used this as an excuse...)
3) I was cold and ran out of firewood. So I used my homework as fuel.
4) I got robbed and all the robber wanted was my homework.
5) I realised that I left my bag on the schoolbus but the bus driver just shouted some words (which I would get into trouble if I repeated them) and drove off.
6) I did my homework in invisible ink. All you have to do is burn the book to make the ink visible again.
7) I ran out of toilet paper.

Real Excuses
1) I left my homework in my desk by accident and didn't get to finish it on time (this one WORKS!)
2) I had too much homework from the other teachers (not a good one, but I'm running out of real excuses)
3) I was sick.
4) My grandmother/grandfather/great-grandmother/twice-removed great-grandaunt's third son's uncle's third cousin died and I had to attend the funeral.

Final Note: Remember folks, when you don't do your homework, you have no homework :)

ResidentLoudmouth is a bad example for people out there XD

Mechanics

2009-11-22T14:19:00.002+08:00

Hey humans! Glad to see that this blog is finally making some progress. For convenience, all authors will tag themselves (or their code names) on their posts. (You can defy my galactical order for all I care). For me, I'd prefer to go undercover as LazyBones. Resident Loudmouth, I've tagged you as "louder", or rather, LoudR (Louder than the average Joe). Feel free to change it, though. I was just messing with your name. *Grins*

Anyway, I wanted to dedicate this post to 2 friends (one who's going down to Singapore on a scholarship and another who's going to UK). Here are a few tips for him to stand out among the crowd on the first day of school (or any other day, for this matter). Hopefully, he'll get into enough trouble for the principal to send him back home. Go, Ryan and Yi Cai! I know you have the guts to do these!

Freak the class:
1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, "Quite right, old bean...."

2. Wear earmuffs to class. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder.

3. When the teacher calls roll, after each name scream "THAT'S MEEEEE! Oh, no, sorry."

4. Insist in a Southern drawl that your name really is Li Qi Zhun. If you actually are Chinese, insist that your name is Vladimir Fernandez O'Reilly.

5. Page through the textbook scratching each picture and sniffing it.

6. Address the professor as "Your Excellency".

7. Shout "WOW!" after every sentence. (Ryan, I know you're very capable of this)

8. Correct the professor at least ten times on the pronunciation of your name, even it's Ryan. Claim that the "N" is silent. If it's Smith, claim that the "I" is silent.

9. Treat everyone in the classroom like alien ambassadors and claim that you're heading an alien council. Say "Greetings" to everyone you meet. When the professor enters the room, below "Tremble before me, you puny Earthling!!!!!" Remember to rise ominously from your seat and point an accusing finger at the professor.

10. Spend the entire lesson blowing kisses to other students.

11. Stand to ask questions. Use a very strong English accent. Bow deeply before taking your seat after the teacher answers.

12. Laugh heartily at everything the professor says. Snort when you laugh.

13. Wear a black hooded cloak to class and ring a bell. Claim that "the end is coming" every few minutes.

14. Laugh like Daffy Duck while clapping your hands vigorously. Don't forget to jump around for added effects.

15. Sabotage and point the overhead projector at the class. Demand each student's name, rank, and serial number.

16. Claim that you see viruses thriving on your teacher's clothes. Offer to help pick out the viruses and keep them in your pocket. Complain later that the viruses are multiplying....

17. Sneeze on students in front of you and wipe your nose on your tie (or collar).

18. After walking into the classroom, clutch your chest and scream "MY PACEMAKER!"

19. When talking to your friends, gradually speak softer and softer and then suddenly point to a random person and scream "YOU! WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"

20. Wear a "virtual reality" helmet and strange gloves. When someone talks to you, turn in their direction and make throttling motions with your hands.

21. Mention in passing that you're wearing a rubber underwear.

22. Turn off the lights, play a tape of crickets chirping, and begin singing spirituals.

23. Jog into class, rip the textbook in half, and scream, "Are you pumped? ARE YOU PUMPED? I CAN'T HEEEEEEAR YOU!"

24. Growl constantly and address your teacher as "matey".

25. Devote your math lessons to free verse about your favorite numbers and ask your teacher to "sit back and groove".

26. Claim to be a chicken. Squat, cluck, and produce eggs at irregular intervals.

27. Breathe like Darth Vader. Talk to an imaginary "angel" on your right shoulder. Address your classmates as your "minions".

28. Start a food fight in the canteen.

29. Twitch a lot.

30. Move your mouth when you're silent and move your mouth as little as possible when you talk.

Freak the roommates:
1. Fake a heart attack in the room. When your roommates get the paramedics to come, pretend nothing happened.

2. Always flush the toilet 3 times.

3. Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."

4. Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.

5. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.

6. Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."

7. Talk to yourself loudly in front of your roommate. After a while, begin discussing your roommate with yourself.

8. Complain of having a terrible virus in your system and cough at your roommate frequently.

9. Tell your roommate that it's your birthday--every day.

10. If you get in before your roomate, go to sleep in his/her bed.

11. Take your roommate's pillow and put a water ballon inside of it.

12. Create an imaginary cat for a pet. Talk to it every night, act like you're holding it, keep a litter box under your desk. After two weeks, say that your cat is missing. Put up signs in your dorm, blame your roommate.

13. Call safety and security whenever your roommate turns up his/her music.

14. Follow him/her around on weekends.

15. Sit on the floor and talk to the wall.

16. Whenever the phone rings, get up and answer the door.

17. Whenever someone knocks, answer the phone.

18. Whenever your roommate is walking through the room, bump into him/her.

19. Stare at your roommate for five minutes out of every hour. Don't say anything, just stare.

20. Give each of your walls a different name. Whenever you can't answer a problem, ask each of your walls. Write down their responses, then ask your ceiling for the final answer. Complain to your roommate that you don't trust your ceiling.

21. Take all of your roommate's furniture and build a fort. Guard the fort for an entire weekend.

22. Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Where am I?!" and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate asks, say you don't know what he/she is talking about.

23. Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

24. Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."

25. When your roommate comes in, pretend that you are on the phone, screaming angrily and shouting obscenities. After you hang up, say, "That was your mom. She said she'd call back."

26. Start dressing like an Indian. If your roommate inquires, claim that you are getting in touch with your Native-American roots. If your roommate accuses you of not having any Native- American roots, claim that he/she has offended your people and put a curse on your roommate.

27. As soon as your roommate turns the light off at night, begin singing famous operas as loud as you can. When your roommate turns on the light, look around and pretend to be confused.

28. Make pancakes every morning, but don't eat them. Draw faces on them, and toss them in the closet. Watch them for several hours each day. Complain to your roommate that your "pancake farm" isn't evolving into a self-sufficient community. Confide in your roommate that you think the king of the pancakes has been taking bribes.

29. Walk and talk backwards.

30. Leave a declaration of war on your roommate's desk. Include a list of grievances. Constantly mutter "....the mothership is coming..."

ALERT!

2009-11-20T17:13:00.000+08:00

ResidentLoudmouth messed and tinkered about with the Contributors column and came up with something called "About The Bloggers" instead. It has a slight description as well as the links to our profiles on it. If you don't like the descriptions I left there, please self-edit (except Ghee Ken of course, hehheh)... If you seriously preferred the older way of introducing ourselves, please let me know (albeit gently) and I'll get the older thing back for you. Just please let me know so that I can have a funeral for this gadget.. (sobs pathetically)

Yup that's all this post is about. I haven't garnered up enough tips about anything this holidays, so bear with me. Ghee Ken, post something already!!!

~out, ResidentLoudmouth, feelinghappywithherself~

Jobwatch

2009-11-17T11:49:00.000+08:00

After so many posts about nonsensical babbling, it's time to come up with something serious.

Here, I've prepared a list of blunders by job applicants for everyone to see (don't use it in any job application process). If you plan on getting a job, I hope you learn from these past experiences.

If you're trying to screw up the process because you're a student (and your parents forced you to work), here are many creative ways to escape that job.

A Blunder In Itself
"Here is my resume for you to overlook" (they're all true):
Resume:
1. Candidate posted naked picture of himself.

Skills:
1. "Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail"
2. "I am great with the pubic."
3. "I have integrity, so I will not steal office supplies and take them home"

Objective :
1. ".....as the movie "Jerry Mcguire" puts it, "Show me the money"."
2. “I need money because I have bills to pay and I would like to have a life, go out partying, please my young wife with gifts, and have a menu entrée consisting of more than soup.”
3. "Student today. Vice-president tomorrow." (This guy is pushing too much)
4. "Too become Overlord of the Galaxy!!!"
5. "What I'm looking for in a job : #1. Money, #2. Money, #3. Money."

Experience :
1. "Stalking, shipping and receiving."
2. "Have not been abducted by aliens yet."
3. "I have done service for an old man to check if he's still alive or not."
4. Candidate stated the ability to persuade people sexually using her words.
5. "Child care provider. Prepared lunches and snakes."

Achievements :
1. Nominated for prom queen.
2. National record for eating 45 eggs in 2 minutes.

Favourite activities :
1. Playing trivia games. I'm a repository of worthless knowledge.

Languages :
1. Speaks English and Spinach

Closer to home (from "Honk! If You're Malaysian"):
This is an excerpt from actual job application letters. There is an imaginary Human Resource Manager's (HRM) response after the excerpt.

Job Applicant : "I wants to apply a jobs in your company."
HRM : You want to apply for how many jobs? Don't be greedy. Apply for one at a time.

How To POI Creatively

2009-11-12T16:54:00.000+08:00

DISCLAIMER: DO THIS AT OWN RISK

How To POI
1) Stand up and say in a computerised voice: "You've got POI. You've got POI. You've got POI. You've got POI. You've got POI..."

2) Scream "POI SIR!!!!!!!!" at the top of your lungs and wave your hand about frantically in the air.

3) Push your chair back abruptly (make sure it topples over). When you catch your opponent's attention, state you question in just ONE breath.

4) Jump up and yell "I OBJECT!!!!!!!"

5) Yell "BUSHLAKHA!" at everything you disagree with.

6) Point a BB Gun at your opponents and say in the most dangerous voice you can muster: "Freeze and keep your trap shut or I'll shoot to kill."

7) In the event where one minute is not up yet, stare at the time keeper for as long as possible without blinking. Chant/Whisper weird mumbo jumbo like "Time shall now fly because I have
willed it to, one minute is now over, I shall mentally will it to be, at the snap of my fingers..."

8) Insist that the five minute mark ain't over yet even if it is.

How To Deny A POI
1) "SILENCE. OR I SHALL VAPOURISE THEE!"

2) "Down!" (opponent sits) "Good boy!"

3) "Who is the idiot in the parliament now? You, or me?"

4) "Kindly hold all POIs until after the five minute mark."

5) "NO! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!"

6) "You have the right to remain silent."

7) (Achmed the dead terrorist voice) "SILENCE! OR I KILL YOU!"

How To Take A POI
1) "Speak. You have FIVE SECONDS."

2) "Please remember that anything you say can be used as evidence against you. Proceed."

3) "Yes, I shall be a kind soul and allow your nonsense to be mentioned during MY precious time."

4) "I'm drunk and may misintepret your POI. POI at your own risk."

How To Regret A POI
1) "You are wasting my time with such nonsense."

2) "Speak anymore and you'll wake up tomorrow six feet under."

3) "You know what? When I took your POI I was being sarcastic."

4) "Oh go tell that to someone who cares!!!"

~ResidentLoudmouth:ZiYingisgonnagetphilosophical~

How To "Win" A Debate

2009-11-12T15:59:00.000+08:00

After Resident Loudmouth's tips on how to screw up your debate, it's time to "balance" out the horrific effects.....

Things to do during an intense debate :

1. The first impression is always the most important. Give a powerful impression by starting like this : "...Hey, y'all! Howz'it goin', peeps...G-g-g-good morning to the adjudicators - all of whom I've bribed, the amazing timekeeper who can reverse time and work it to my advantage, my UNworthy opponents, my dogmatic cronies and their underhand tactics and members of the floor - *mumbles* who would be much better off ON the floor, instead of on chairs...."

2. Use the names of your country's top leaders. If you're up for it, mimic the way they talk for a greater effect.

3. Claim that you're a necromancer. Pause for a few seconds and stare straight into your opponents' eyes. Start laughing hysterically and talk in a high-pitched voice. Claim that you're now a puppet of Hitler and that you're out to take revenge.

4. When introducing your whip, say this "....and my whip will be whippin' those asses across the room who dare oppose us!!"

5. Do your entire speech in another language. Scream "Me no speakee Eeengreeesh!!" when questioned.

6. Clap twice after every 45 seconds to confuse your opponent. Deception is the keyword here.

7. Hum Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture the moment the debate starts. When any of your teammates POI, scream "Fastforward!!" and sing the climax as loud as you can.

8. Try to get everyone in the room to do the wave.

9. Talk to your imaginary friend named Bob in the middle of the debate. Bang the tables often so that everyone will pay attention to what Bob has to say. Say that they need medical attention if they can't see or hear Bob.

10. Make paper airplanes out of your debate notes. Aim them at your opponents' nostrils.

11. Convince everyone that you are actually a Bzk from planet Bzagoog. Make unintelligable noises for added effects.

12. Always say that your motion of the day is "This House Believes That The Chicken Crossed The Road". Don't correct yourself. Once a man has a plan, he sticks to it.

Creative POIs :
How to POI :
1. Get all your teammates to sing the ascending C major arpeggio. The 2nd speaker ALWAYS POIs for a fancier effect. End the POI by singing the descending C major arpeggio. Time is precious. Eat your opponents' time.

2. Rap when you give a POI. People love music.

3. Stand up abruptly and go on ranting about how your opponents' points conflicted with your religious beliefs.

4. Talk about Mao Zhe Dong and his life whenever you POI your opponents.

5. Claim that your opponents have used a seditious term/phrase. Bring in a lawyer as witness and file a law suit immediately.

6. Bring in cheerleaders to pressure your opponents.

7. Say : "Sir, I am actually a mediator between the President of the United States and the people of the world. The President has given orders to say that......"

8. Say : "I DEMAND that you grant me this POI, or I'm telling Santa Claus that you have been verryyyy naughty....*Grins evilly*"

9. "The aliens of Bzagoog has initiated contact with you EARTHLING SCUMS in this debate. Answer me, or I will go to your house and be "not so nice"."

10. Get all your teammates to hit the table as if it were drums. Get a tribal beat (DUM dum dum dum, DUM dum dum dum) and make your 1st speaker do a war cry similar to that of the Red Indians.

How to deny POIs :
1. Form a gun with your first 3 fingers. Bend 45 degrees to the side and say squeakily, "Denied." Do this until someone tells you to stop.

2. Look around you, bewildered. Say that you "heard a voice but can't see anything". Mutter something about the wind and continue with your speech. If your opponents are persistent, run around the room in circles to "get rid of the bad spirit".

3. Stare deep into the eyes of those who dare interrupt your speech. Say angrily, "I. Am. Thirstyyyy.....". Then, continue as if nothing happened.

4. Mock them as much as you can in a singsong voice : "I can't heeeeeeaaaaaaaar you...." Cover your ears to be more convincing.

5. Look about frantically and collect all your papers. Say that the double-zero agents have found you and that you need to leave the country immediately.

6. Shout "I have the secret documents!!" and shift the topic to the world-domination blueprints you've found in a rabbit-hole. Go on to claim that you have saved the world from a Bunny Invasion. Take all the credit for yourself.

7. Bring in a ventriloquist doll. Whenever you're POI-ed, lift up the doll and turn it's head slowly to face everyone in the room. Make the doll laugh and say that it "protects" you.

8. Start chanting the holy phrases. If you are continuously disturbed, sit on the table and strike the meditation position.

9. Switch the topic to fashion and say how good your opponents look. Mumble something about "that horrible watch the adjudicator is wearing".

10. Claim that your opponent has violated the laws of the universe and that he/she should not speak, or else a black hole will form in the center of the room.

11. Bring a water pistol into the debate. Shoot them with it and say, "At it, boy! Sit! Sit! Yeeeee-ha!!"

12. Throw water at them and shout "May the power of Christ compel you!!"

Might be continued by colleagues. =D

-LazyBones-

How To Completely Screw Up A Debate

2009-11-10T17:00:00.001+08:00

As The Government
1) Refer to your team members as your "cronies".
2) State that you strongly agree with the motion because you have no choice at all.
3) Refer to the opposition as "the idiots who don't know what they're talking about".
4) Define your motion in the stupidest way possible (eg. euthanasia is the act of cuddling penguins in Antartica while eating french fries)

As The Opposition
1) Refer to your first speaker as RPK.
2) State that you strongly oppose the motion because you are being paid to do so.
3) Refer to the government as "the people I'm arguing against".
4) Challenge the definition and parameter of the government with the reason "because I am supposed to oppose everything you say".

As Both Parties
1) Take or deny ALL POIs creatively (more on this in the future)
2) Greet the floor in this manner: "A very good morning - wait, is it morning? Oh yes it is - I bid to the the honorable adjudicators who should let me win because I AM the best, time keeper whom I've bribed to keep time in my favour, members of the government/opposition, and members of this crowded parliament. Can a few members leave before I start please? Thank you......"
3) Argue with the speaker if he or she denies your POI.
4) Bang your fists on the table as you speak.
5) Walk right up to the faces of your opponent and shout.
6) Throw in a few swear words for good measure.
7) Halfway through the debate, creep right up to your opponents and hand them a wad of cash. Stage whisper to them to screw the debate up.
8) Scream HALLELUJAH and high five your team members whenever your opponents say anything that you have predicted.
9) Stand up and give a detailed speech about the history of your life. Don't stop until you've gone overtime.
10) Shout "I KNOW I'M OVERTIME!!!" to the timekeepers when they signal for you to sit down.

And with that, this member of the parliament would leave before you start on how crappy this post was.

(Liiyung, Mel, and Gheek, if you get anymore weird ideas, please post as Part Two)

Thank you.

~ResidentLoudmouth:ZiYing~

How To Be A Wise Sage

2009-10-29T15:35:00.000+08:00

HOW TO ~~PRETEND TO~~ BE A WISE SAGE IN 10 EASY STEPS.

1) Learn to resist worldy temptations such as entertainment, food, and women.

2) Grow a beard.

3) Dye your beard white.

4) Adopt a new philosophy that may or may not be dangerous, as long as it has never been attempted before.

5) Get a long white robe.

6) Learn how to sit crossed-legged with feet turned upwards for long periods of time.

7) Learn how to sit still for long periods of time so that yoou can meditate.

8) Learn how to chant. The basic chant would be "AUM..... AUM..." But if you want to achieve a more unique style of chanting more practise would be needed before "!#$%^&*" sounds like a calm chant.

9) Emigrate to a hard to reach place with horrible climate to test the spiritual strength and endurance of your seekers.

10) Should all else fails, sitting cross-legged on the top rung of an extremely high step ladder in an extremely cold air-con room in an undisclosed elusive location should work just as well.

~out, ResidentLoudmouthwantstoputherLOUDMOUTHtobetteruse~

How To Open Durians

2009-10-24T16:59:00.000+08:00

To revive this DEAD BLOG *hint Liiyung and Mel*, I am going to post ~~absolute crap~~ interesting stuff about Durians. And how to open them. And what safety hazards they are.

Step #1: Hold the durian up by the stem.

Step #2: Check the base of the durian (the side opposite the stem). You should see the thorns growing in at some point forming a weird pattern. Kinda like an asterisk (*).

Step #3: Use knife/parang/screwdriver/sharp objects to cut the durian skin open along that weird asterisk pattern thingamabob.

Step #4: Stick your thumbs in between the crack for leverage and pry the durian open (this could hurt).

Step #5: Eat the durians.

Step #6: Pry the durian open a second/third time til all the durian flesh in one durian thingie are finished.

Step #7: Repeat Steps #1 - #6.

Important Tips
1) Step #2 and #3 are probably the harder steps to master.
2) Don't drop the durian on your foot.
3) Don't kick a durian.
4) Durians are dangerous.

~out, ResidentLoudmouthZiYing, DURIANS!~

Practical Tips About PMR

2009-10-16T15:44:00.000+08:00

This is the real deal, and this list is only compiled AFTER yours truly went through ~~hell~~ PMR. The whole thing is based on the author's experiences.

1) Put your stationary in a plastic container instead of a plastic bag. Plastic bags are a lot more noisy than containers.

2) Bring enough food. Exams make you hungry.

3) Bring your IC.

4) Bring enough money for lunch.

5) Bring a bottle that DOES NOT leak.

6) Put your bottle on the ground.

7) Try to gather as much tips as possible, even if that means calling your distant relative in Sabah.

8) Don't curse about the examinor within their hearing range unless you're positive that they don't understand you.

9) Don't fall asleep until you complete your paper.

10) Bring enough tissues so that you don't have to ask the examinor to get some tissues for you when you need it.

11) Wear a mask if you're sneezing. Not only do the students appreciate it, so does your examinor.

12) Don't leave your books opened on the corridors because if it rains, it's the end of your books.

13) Don't leave your books on the fire hose box near your friend's window. You don't want them to be accused of cheating... And even if you do, it's not nice.

14) I fyou happen to be sitting by the window and you notice a book outside at your eye level, do everything you can to GET RID OF IT. Who cares about the owner of the book? They shouldn't have put it there in the first place.

15) Do not consistently be the last one into the class. It's annoying, and people get tired of waiting for he same person to enetr so that they can start their paper.

16) If you HAVE TO be late for a paper, try to do it with your whole class and with a good reason. That way you get extra time.

17) Always keep your eyes open for interesting things that you can blog about. XD

See? Practical tips ain't as funny as the fake stuff, eh?

~ResidentLoudmouthwantstolearnabouthumanpsychology~

Pronunciation

2009-09-23T15:33:00.001+08:00

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

-Ryco-

How To Survive Holidays

2009-09-23T13:48:00.000+08:00

You don't.

You just go insane and hope that the damage isn't permanent.

~random post by Zi Ying~

20 More Passing Tactics In PMR

2009-09-16T17:09:00.000+08:00

(clears throat and straightens tie)
Hello there. yours truly - Resident Loudmouth (why am I even using this identity anyway?) - has been MIA (that's Missing In Action) for quite a while from the outside civillisation and during her brief period of abscense came up with 20 more original passing tactics in PMR to complement Liiyung's post quite some time ago. This whole post would start with the number 51 as a continuous to Liiyung's 50 Passing tactics in OMR.

(pauses and uses hyper tone)
Oh LOOKIE! Some dude posted a comment on our CBOX! Some dude we.... Don't even know. Who claims to be crazy. Whoopee.

(quick random disclaimer announcer person tone)
None of the bloggers of this blog shall be held personally responsible for your failing results as a result of following excatly what this post attempts to encourage you to do.

51. Throw an epileptic fit (or just jerk and flail limbs about wildly if you don't know what epileptic means) about 30 minutes into the exam.

52. Fake a cardiac arrest the moment you enter the classroom.

53. Do your exam paper as usual. Then, as you leave the classroom, announce loud enough for the whole class to hear: "I slept with the instructor last night. And it was good." Run for your life.

54. About halfway through the exam, strip yourself down to your undergarments (or your birthday suit, if you're extremely shameless). Continue on with the paper as if nothing happened. 15 minutes later, slam your hand on the table (loudly) and yell: "Which one of you bastards took my clothes?!"

55. Stand up and scream as if you were possessed by evil spirits every five minutes.

56. For every question you can answer, break out in a hallelujah chorus. For every question you can't answer, sing a funeral oratorio. Do this until you are physically removed from the classroom.

57. Have a conversation with your left and right shoulders. say things like: "Bob (to right shoulder), I KNOW that Dexter is distracting me. Do something about it!" "DEXTER! (to left shoulder) STOP SAYING 'EAT ZE COOKIE' in that German accent! There ARE no cookies here!" "BOB! YOU'RE THE ANGEL! STOP THROWING PIECES OF YOUR CLOUD AT DEXTER!" Keep this up until the asylum arrives with a straitjacket.

58. Chant biblical sounding things (make things up if you have to). Force the instructor to pay respects/homage to your dying grades when she demands to know what you're up to.

59. Exam paper. Window. Get them 'acquainted' with each other. You catch my drift?

60. Pretend to choke and to be unable to breathe. When questioned tell the instructor that your ancient relatives were the victims of the holocaust and that you're honouring them by pretending to choke in a gas chamber.

61. Drool on your paper.

62. Play paintball with your friend in the classroom opposite the classroom you're in.

63. Bring police officers in. Have they demand that everyone be strip searched.

64. Colour the blanks of your objective paper so that it spells out the words FUCK YOU. Make sure that the message gets across crystal clear.

65. Begin answering EVERY opinionated question with something like: "In my opinion, I should get full marks regardless of whatever answer I put. This is a fucked up question, but let's not let one fuck up fuck up my results, shall we agree on that?" Be as creative and vulgar as possible.

66. Tie everything you write in your essay to
a) the horrible state of politics in the country
b) how you're gonna achieve world domination

67. Answer all history questions with: "History has shown that our government today is messing up what our forefathers fought for." OR "Who cares about history? It's just some boring old story about some dead guy. We're the leaders of the FUTURE!!!"

68. Do a striptease on the table after you complete the paper.

69. Hug your favourite old soft toy (or bolster, pillow, blanket etc) as you sit for your exam. Tell your instructor that having something familiar near you when stressed out helps you to think. Challenge her to show you a rule in the rule book against 'familiar surroundings'.

70. Chant mantras to the dead as you work. Your deceased grandmother deserves to know about your going-ons.

Only because the resident LOUDMOUTH insists.

2009-09-11T21:13:00.000+08:00

In prison and at work.

In prison, you spend the majority of your time in an 8 x 10 cell.
At work, you spend most of your time in a 6 x 8 cubicle.

In prison, you get three (free) meals a day.
At work, you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it yourself.

In prison, you get time off for good behavior.
At work, you get rewarded for good behavior with even more work.

In prison, a guard locks and unlocks the doors for you.
At work, you must carry around a security card and unlock all the doors yourself.

In prison, you can watch TV and play games.
At work, you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

In prison, you get your own toilet.
At work, you have to share.

In prison, they allow your family and friends to visit.
At work, you cannot even speak to your family and friends.

In prison, all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work at all.
At work, you pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

Humm?
Which sounds better?

-

Hope this entertained you :P

More Than One Way To Skin A Cat

2009-09-09T20:15:00.001+08:00

CURIOUSITY KILLED THE CAT. SATISFACTION BROUGHT IT BACK.

IF THE CAT'S ALREADY HALFWAY OUT THE BAG, JUST PULL THE DAMN FELINE OUT.

NEVER EVER SIT ON A PORCUPINE.

DON'T SHAKE HANDS WITH A LOBSTER.

DON'T BRING A CENTIPEDE SHOE SHOPPING.

Ok, that was all just for effect.

***

Ever heard of the saying: "there is more than one way to skin a cat"?
I think it means, there is more than one way to something.

Things is, how do you skin a cat? Answer: you use a knife.

Any other ways? Of course! Just be creative.

You can pump air into a cat through it's mouth/anus (whichever you prefer)
till it's skin bursts off.
You can scare the skin off a cat.
You can bomb a cat to remove it's skin. (although you'd just remove
it's everything)
You can whack a cat against the wall until it's skin falls off.
You can burn the skin off a cat's back.
You can use friction against that poor little feline.

Thing is, none of these methods are really effective. And here's the catch. Even IF it does work, when you skin something, obviously you'd want the skin to be in good shape right?

Can you guarantee me that the cat's skin would be in good shape after you bomb it off the cat? I don't think so. Which leads to the question. What do people want cat skin for???

I mean, I can understand people wanting tiger fur (or all those exotic fur). Not saying that I'm advocating it, but still. What on Earth do you need cat skin for???

Fine. Perhaps you found out that cat skin is really effective for health. Perhaps cat skin is the newer alternative instead of tiger fur. Perhaps cat skin can be used to stop global warming. Perhaps it's the newest technology that will be able to keep us alive when doomsday hits.

Or perhaps you're just some crazy sadistic person who likes torturing cats.

Which brings me to this other matter. How can you prove that the way that you're gonna skin the cat will be really humane?

Think about it. I just proved that the saying: "There's more than one way to skin a cat" is really really dumb.

So put the cat and the knife down and stick your hands up in the air. Before I report you to SPCA for animal cruelty.

***

NOTE TO FELLOW BLOG OWNERS:
Mel. Liiyung. And both of you update this blog as well? I think Gabrina is sick of reading my crap and only my crap. Thank you XD

~ResidentLoudmouth:ZiYing~

13 Ways To Finish A Can Of LIGHT Whipping Cream

2009-08-29T13:57:00.000+08:00

This post is dedicated to Mel, and shall be one of my writing exercises, and a good way to use my ~~overactive imagination~~ creativity. Why thirteen tips? Because I like the number thirteen. XD

HOW TO FINISH A CAN OF LIGHT WHIPPING CREAM WITHOUT CAUSING WASTAGE

Tip #1
Bake as many cakes as you can. Ice the cakes with LIGHT whipping cream. Make sure you finish ALL the whipping cream. Give the cakes you can't eat to charity.

Tip #2
Insert whipping cream into your daily diet until all the cream has been finished. Eg. creamed milk, creamed biscuits, creamed ham and egg sandwich, creamed cream...

Tip #3
Use the cream to polish your shoes. It will leave a lovely off white-ish milk-ish colour and when you're hungry, you can always lick it off.

Tip #4
Wash your clothes with whipping cream. It will have a lovely wonderful trace of smell left.

Tip #5
Eat it. Just like that. LIGHT whipping cream contains a high amount of glucose BUT is low in fat and therefore makes it a perfect snack on the go. It makes you hyper, too.

Tip #6
Bathe in whipping cream. If bathing in full cream milk will give you a lovely, youthful complexion, bathing in LIGHT WHIPPING CREAM should give you the same results desired, if not better. And remember, since it's LIGHT, you don't have to worry about eating it by accident and gaining weight.

Tip #7
Paint walls. Like I mentioned before, whipping cream has a lovely shade of off white-ish milk-ish colour to it. Paint the walls of your school, preferably, with this lovely substance and you can spend the rest of your free time watching black dot-like ants climb up and down and up and down the wall.

Tip #8
Use it for self defense. This is a recipe which you can definitely use even if your whipping cream has past it's expiry date. Just make sure it's in the can. When a would-be rapist nears you, whip out your can of whipping cream and spray all the white foam-like substance onto the face of your would-be attacker. If that doesn't work, just throw the can at them. A much cheaper alternative to a can of pepper spray.

Tip #9
Use it as a prank item. Spray your teacher's car. Her shoes. Her table in the office. Fill her tyres with whipping cream instead of air. Spray it on the open palms of a sleeping person. Watch the fun.

Tip #10
Use it as a torture weapon. Spray cans and cans of whipping cream down your victim's throat and watch as they gasp for air and beg you not to kill them with this lovely cuisine.

Tip #11
Use it to condition your hair. The textures of this wonderful substance makes it ideal to be used to wash your hair with.

Tip #12
Feed your friend with it. She'll be eternally grateful XD

Tip #13
Use it for what you brought it for! In Mel's case, make macaroni cheese with it! You can never have too much of light whipping cream. Remember, waste not, want not. =D

Now, remember these helpful tips whenever you discover that you have too much light whipping cream in your kitchen,. Signing off,

~ResidentLoudmouth:ZiYing~

How To Win A Malaysian Choir Competition

2009-08-10T23:41:00.000+08:00

Top Ten Tips I Learnt After XXX Competition:

Tip #1: Break the rules. It doesn't matter, as long as you entertain the crowd you are loved.

Tip #2: Provide your own entertainers to keep the crowd happy when the judges are tallying the score. Refer to Tip #1.

Tip #3: It doesn't matter if you sound horrible. Just look pretty. Malaysian judges may be deaf, but they sure aren't blind.

Tip #4: Have cheerleaders join the choir. Run on stage with pom-poms. Wave at the crowd to get them all worked up and to make them feel involved.

Tip #5: Do toe-touches as you sing. Refer to Tip #4.

Tip #6: Wear a songkok regardless of your gender.

Tip #7: Make fun of the patriotic song you are singing (by dancing to it). It's very entertaining and you get a more appreciating audience.

Tip #8: Bribe the judges XD

Tip #9: Have a uniform in the colour that blends in the best with your backdrop. Judges LOVE that.

Tip #10: When hitting the highest note of Jalur Gemilang, do a split. The crowd goes wild with appreciation. The judges are impressed. And as you SCREAM IN PAIN, you'll probably hit a note never attempted before by mankind.

Ok. Business talk is,

HYC, we KNOW we're the best.

~~And we all know that Malaysian judges are shit.~~

out, ~~Resident Loudmouth~~:Zi Ying:~~Ms Shoelaces Not Tied~~, HYC ROCKS

PMR & Exam Tips Part Two

2009-07-24T21:10:00.000+08:00

Continued from previous post...
DO
5) Use your time wisely and sleep if you have extra time on your hands. You need all the enrgy you can get for your next paper.

DON'T
5) Drool on your paper.

DO
6) Bring colour pencils for your Art paper.

DON'T
6) Bring only three colours that happen to be blue, pink and some unknown colour when you're colouring humans.

DO
7) Always bring thread and protractor for Geography exams.

DON'T
7) Use your shoelaces to measure curved lines - it doesn't work.

DO
8) Let your teacher have a glimpse of your essay - if she's in a good mood she may correct you there and then XD

DON'T
8) Cover your essay up with your hands. If she's like Pn. Chen, you may end up with your marks deducted...

DO
9) Answer wisely when you don't know the answer for a question. A smart guess is better than leaving it blank.

DON'T
9) This may be fun, but try your best to refrain from writing phrases such as "due to the lack of understanding of this question by both the examinor and the student, this question cannot be answered" or something like that. No offence XD

DO
10) Write essays that contain a bunch of idioms when necessary as it helps you get marks.

DON'T
10) Write essyas like (excuse the chinese): 如果女佣是一个小偷，就会搞到家徒四壁一塌糊涂鸡犬不宁。。。The main idea is to never ever put TWENTY-FOUR chinese idioms in one whole sentence, separated by commas only.

Yeah, 10 'smart' tips for PMR and exams. If I ever come out with more, heh heh...

Just you wait.

You always doubt my intelligence ~ Resident Loudmouth

50 Passing Tactics in PMR

2009-07-22T15:09:00.000+08:00

You should not, by any means, try this in school, UPSR, PMR, SPM, etc...I am not held responsible for any of your disgusting results if you failed your exam. =)

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking. " Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

6. Bring cheerleaders.

7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand any of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who are you? Where's the regular guy?"

8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc. . . ). Play with the volume at max level.

9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

10. Bring pets.

11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas. "If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

15. Come down with a BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc. . ).

23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Forget this!" and walk out triumphantly.

25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i. e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink)

26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

28. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.

31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!"

32. Bring a water pistol with you.

33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

35. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

36. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.

37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.

38. Bring cheat sheets for another class (make sure this is obvious. . . like history notes for a calculus exam. . . otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit. "

39. When you walk in, complain about the heat.

40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

41. One word: Wrestlemania.

42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.

43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.

44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.

45. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc. . . sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think. " Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".

50. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx is a Terrible Teacher"

PMR & Exams Tips Part One

2009-07-21T21:17:00.000+08:00

A few simple tips guaranteed to make you smile.
Money back not guaranteed, legal action cannot be taken against us for deception.

Here goes...

DO
1) Always bring extra paper into the room to draw on when you get bored.

DON'T
1) Never ever write private things on that paper. You don't want your examinor to read "Dear Diary, today I met this cute guy...", do you?

DO
2) Always bring in extra stationery.

DON'T
2) Try your best not to throw your stationeries around when you're bored...

DO
3) Go to toilet before the exams start.

DON'T
3) Pee in class.

DO
4) Swear silently under your breath if its necessary (eg you dropped a table on your writing hand [I really wanna know how you manage to do this] /your sumo-sized teacher conveniently stomped on your delicate foot)

DON'T
4) Swear loud enough for the teacher to hear.

Part Two will be up soon. When I'm in the mood. Mel and Liiyung, add on extra tips as Part Two and Three and so on, ok?

Resident Loudmouth who currently resieds on Cloud Nine, signing off!

Boo-hoo.

2009-07-16T18:39:00.000+08:00

~~We Write Anything~~
We DIDN'T Write Anything.

I guess the blog will be quite dead till after PMR.
Till then, there's a busy schedule up ahead!

Not to mention that studying has to be done...

How To Know If You're Crazy And Suicidal

2009-07-04T19:12:00.000+08:00

Although this blog is co-owned by the three of us - namely Mel, Liiyung and I, somehow I have to do the updating. And Mel has only updated ONCE. Tsk tsk. Where is the teamwork?

So, I decided to update (after being prompted by Liiyung) (Liiyung grins and says "I'm persuasive") on HOW TO KNOW IF YOU'RE CRAZY AND SUICIDAL.

Mainly because I'm dying to share this piece of useless knowledge with you.

If you've been reading my other blog (including the rantings), you would know that there's something very wrong with me. And that the used-to-be crappy blog just turned emo and angsty.

I apologise for the mood shift. It'll back to normal soon, I hope.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU'RE CRAZY AND SUICIDAL
10) You're doing crazy things (eg. speaking to yourself, having multiple personalities...).

9) You've seen a psychologist.

8) You've seen a psychiatrist.

7) You have mood swings.

6) You feel like crying everyday but you can't so you just fake a smile and move on with life.

5) You're different from your normal mood, except if you're normally emo, then you'd just be emo-er.

4) You're preoccupied with the morbid thoughts of death.

3) You're asking yourself: "What happens after death? Does heaven really exist? If it does will I go to heaven? Will I simply just cease to exist? How does it feel like to simply not exist? Will I be forgotten? How can I go dramatically? Which is the best way to go? Will it hurt if I cut myself there? How do I make the pain go away? Will I see a bright light at the end of the tunnel? Or will I just POOF away? Will I see God?" (This is if you're really suicidal or something like that - if this is happening to you I suggest you seek medical attention. Either that or you have an overly curious mind and is planning to confuse the world with everything you say, ask or do.)

2) You're doing this: "You're such an idiot. You should have never done that in the first place." "But if I didn't we won't be friends in the first place." "Now you're no longer trustable." "But I never told anyone." "You're a traitor." "I take the stand of a neutral party." "Where do your loyalties lie?" "I have no loyalties." "Jangan duduk di atas pagar, lama-lama jatuh kena anjing gigit." "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" (If this is happening to you it may be a sign of Multiple Personality Disorder - go see a psychiatrist. Or you could have an overactive imagination and is planning to write a psychological thriller when you grow up.).

1) You're reading this post.

TEEHEE! I got you, didn't I?

Heh. If you happen to be reading this post, and think that I need professional help, don't bother leaving a comment. If you happen to be a psychiatrist/psychologist who think that you can help me, don't bother leaving a comment either. I'd rather not know of your existence.

The rest of you out there, start letting us know that you're out there! Leave stuff in our CBOX! Comment on our posts!
*Especially if you're crazy and want to share your experience with me.
**Or if you think that you're going crazy.
***Or if you enjoyed this post.

Second longest post.
I think that this is now the longest post.

~out, Resident Loudmouth:Zi Ying~

For "Amusing Purposes"

2009-06-19T22:48:00.000+08:00

I will now amuse the very few readers that visit this blog. This is a (very long) excerpt taken from my original post in Zequilix. This is also the first LONG post to be written on WeWriteAnything, so brace yourselves.

Well, here goes:

I have been reading the news on the currently controversial English subject. As a secondary school student, I wish to express my disappointment towards the reluctance to turn English into a compulsory “pass” subject in SPM. I was really shocked when I read that there were groups that actually wanted to call off the implementation. Looks like some of us have already conceded defeat before the fight even began.

Are we Malaysians really that doubtful of our abilities? We’ve conquered Mount Everest, swam across various channels, broken many records and yet we claim that we cannot master the English language. How ridiculous is that? We all know that where there’s a will, there’s a way. Apparently, there isn’t much determination to master the language now, is there?

I would like to know, why are we so unwilling to improve and help ourselves? We all know that English is the global medium of communication in important fields such as science and technology. Yet why is our government still beating around the bush, debating about such a trivial issue such as making the language a compulsory subject to pass in SPM? Why is it so hard to accept a language which equals to global importance?

Don’t keep repeating that rural students and teachers are not able to master and teach English effectively. We’re tired of hearing that already. Just because English isn’t our mother tongue doesn’t mean that we have to neglect it and only focus on the national language alone. Yes, we should feel proud of Bahasa Malaysia as our national language and be proficient in it, but that does not mean that we have to forsake English because that is the language that will bring us out into the world.

Having said that, stop using the rural students as an excuse to not make the subject compulsory, as all you are implying is that you doubt your citizens’ capabilities. What about those teachers who have strived to bring out the best in their students? What about those students who have worked hard for themselves? Students of today are the future of our country. How can anybody use the rural area students’ discomfort towards English as an excuse to jeopardize the nation’s future? Honestly, have you heard of adaptation, perseverance and hard work? If we all want to move forward as a nation, then we should really walk the talk. If we are willing to accept English as a compulsory subject, then of course we can improve. There are people out there who will work hard to master the subject, so don’t presume that we give up that easily. Don’t look down on our abilities. Instead, we should give each other assurance that we can do it.

One of the reasons as to why the standard of English is so low is because the subject is not compulsory to pass to get the SPM certificate. Students perceive it as a less important subject, and so do the teachers, who utilize their English-teaching period to teach other subjects. If it were compulsory, then students and teachers alike would treat this subject differently and make an effort to excel in it, just like Bahasa Malaysia.

If we want to compete on a global basis, then we should really open our minds and hearts to learn English. This is education and not politics, so don’t gamble with our future. Please don’t let Malaysia be left behind.

Now, I'll just have to ....err....translate my whole passage to Nonsense Form to send to the government, so that they can estimate M'sian's English quality. I think I'll start with "I'm has read the new's about the funneh Enggrish subjek and wants to shows disapoinment on the garventmen......"

Thanks for reading.

All Hail King Darkonite!!!

2009-06-13T23:58:00.001+08:00

"Bow to ye king, puny mortal!!!"

WHOAH

2009-06-12T21:24:00.000+08:00

Nice template :) Got slightly side tracked by it too. Anyway, can we have a cbox up please? Makes comments so much easier!

Contrary to resident loudmouth, I have nothing much to say. Except :

"NOOOO, WE'RE STARTING SCHOOL ON MONDAY!" D:

Tata!

HOLY CRAP!

2009-06-12T13:38:00.000+08:00

.Resident Loudmouth.Zi Ying.

Imagine entering your own blog to find a cup of tea staring you in the face.

Well, you probably can't, but just do it for my sake.

My first reaction was "HOLY CRAP!" Then I remembered that Liiyung was in charge of our templates, which of course, is the only logical explaination.

Phew. At least we're not being hacked.

Well, I wanted to talk about sexism among the males of our society, but I was sidetracked by the template. Which, I must say, is quite pretty (HA!). I can't describe my feelings towards it, but frankly, I don't give a damn about the template as long as it's not pink and flowery. Or so collage-y that it makes censoring your words quite impossible.

Well, lets make this my "Welcome Myself Back" post.

On that last note,
Remember, Liiyung, NO PINK AND FLOWERY!

The Real Hallelujah

2009-06-09T15:43:00.000+08:00

News Flash : LazyBones survived 2-and-a-half dramatic weeks of hopeless competitions and exams.

Suggestion: Hey, can we call ourselves "Zimelli" or something close to that? (It stands for Zi Ying, Mel, and Lii). It makes advertising the blog easier. =P

Cheerio,
LazyBones.

Second Intro

2009-05-31T20:52:00.000+08:00

Resident Loudmouth in the hood! This is for those of you who don't like scrolling down to see the author of this post.

Of course, this is my second intro for the time...

Well, I thought this time I'm gonna give you an idead of why I need a second blog when I've already got one...

This will be the blog that I use to post 'Survival Tips To DJ' that I've already written down (like 200 of them or so). This is the blog that I will use to advertise my other blog (and vice versa). This is the blog that I will use to post quickie notes whenever I feel like it. This is the blog that will be dedicated to school and nothing else (no, not even politics. you can read Malaysia Today on your own).

Quick Note For Today:
Choir State Levels - SECOND PLACE (out of ten choirs)!
Choral Fest Competition - FOURTH PLACE (out of eleven choirs)!

Feeling Of The Day:
Hyper.

Most Memorable Thing Of The Day:
Diong got tackled by two GIRLS... TWICE! (two girls = Me and Lui Xia)

http://www.militarydiversion.blogspot.com/ for not so full choral fest updates. (advertising starts now).
XD

Promotion!

2009-05-29T20:13:00.000+08:00

Nope, I'm not planning to sell anything just yet. I'm just openly requesting to be promoted to ~~monkey stage~~ admin post so that I can mess with the blog's HTML and add some widgets.

Let me get this straight.

WHAT DO WE WANT?!
Food!
NO......It's supposed to be "we want a promotion"! Try again! WHAT DO WE WANT?!
A promotion!
WHEN DO WE WANT IT?!
Tomorrow!!!
NOOOOO!!! We want it now. NOW! Not tomorrow......*Tears hair frantically*

Actually, I'm just joking. Take your own sweet time. I can bug you for the next few days anyway. =)

First Post

2009-05-29T17:50:00.000+08:00

This blog has been started up as a platform for you and us to express our points of view in a discussion. Of course, that's what I intend to do with this blog. Don't worry, ISA posts and cusswordy posts shall not me written for the sake of Mel and Liiyung, my soon-to-be team mates.

Intro...

LazyBones
Resident ~~Blogger~~ HTML Genius:
Make her mad and she shall rig this blog to drive you crazy! Not only that, she is a ~~great scrabbler cum blogger~~ !

Mel
Resident ~~Blogger~~ Perfectionist
A painfully shy perfectionist (her personal blog is constantly on private). The term perfectionist came from her blog URL, and yes, the word was MADE for her.

Zi Ying
Resident ~~Blogger~~ Loudmouth
ME! Yea, you got the drill.

~out, Zi Ying~
Edit: LazyBones =P